Post # 1
I just am really worried. My parents are divorced and have both remarried and have completely separate lives. My dad is very for down to earth about it but my mom still acts kind of dramatic anytime she knows he will be around. It’s like she has to prove she is better and one-up him. She’s a great mom, and I love her tons, but at my sister’s wedding she interrupted the reception to present my sister and her new husband with a ‘special gift’ that had an accompanying speech and kind of left the rest of us, even family, feeling very awkward. Nobody said anything and everyone continued to have a great night but I’m terrified of this happening at my wedding. She has done this repeatedly and I don’t know how I would make it clear that anything of that sort would be better off handled privately, either at the festivities leading up to the wedding, or after it’s over. How on Earth do I manage that without upsetting her?
Post # 2
Does it have to be you? She may be super embarrassed if her own child brings this up. Does she have a sibling or a good friend with good sense to whom she listens? You could approach them with your worries and see if they can delicately address them.
If it has to be you then you just need to lead with the usual: I love you, I respect you, but I am worried about how you’re dealing with things lately. The divorce seems to have knocked you for six, which is completely understandable, but I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to help.
Things are a lot easier to discuss once you break through that horrible barrier.
Post # 3
Speak to her privately about your concerns.
Have someone in charge of the microphone, and aware that under no circumstances is she to get access to the mike.
Post # 4
Maybe ask her to write a speech so she has her moment and doesn’t interrupt anything you don’t want her to? Or just talk to her and tell her how you feel.
Post # 5
Lots of weddings have really awkward family moments, and you might not be able to control her – if you can take it in stride with kindness and good humor as best as you can, you’ll end up looking really good :0
Post # 6
why don’t you let her give a speech?
Post # 7
Thanks for all the great advice!! I don’t think limiting access to the microphone will work, she gets very pushy and will end up complaining and probably tell me there is a problem with my DJ and I need to let her do this, since its for me…
As for letting her give a speech, I’ve thought about that and it might be my best option besides telling her we would like all personal gifts to be presented at the rehearsal dinner. I think it would be easier to get through if it’s just in front of family and our closest friends who already have an idea of how she rolls…
It’s just that she doesn’t have a stop button. She’s been known to argue until she gets what she is after, and I’m worried even if I make it a general announcement to present any gifts privately, or only these people are making speeches, she will still take it upon herself to surprise us and make a spectacle since she is the mother of the bride and supposedly has that privilege…
Post # 8
It’s more that she has to do this is front of people. She’s not okay with just privately presenting something and being classy about it all. I will probably have to grin and bear it, but I was hoping someone might have a roundabout but clear solution to preventing it. It’s not something I could talk to her about, she would just get offended and start a big argument no matter how nicely I would approach it. It’s just that everyone knows she does this and I really don’t want my wedding to be a source of drama. It’s not something that would ruin the evening though, and I hope nobody else takes it personally. I almost feel like making a public service announcement along the lines of, my mom is intense, please don’t get offended lol