(Closed) Mom issues-unsupportive

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Ladylynx:  *I’m* kind of like your mom :-/ I’m really not “into” pre-wedding festivities…at all. I’m not very sentimental and prefer to be more hands-off.

However, I can see why you are upset. The best advice I can give you is to just understand this isn’t a reflection on how much your mom loves you…this just isn’t her “thing.” I’m sure she isn’t trying to hurt you.

Everyone’s experience in wedding planning isn’t the same, and not everyone’s looks like the movies or magazines regarding showers and parties and emotional mother-daugther moments. That, unfortunately, is just life.

Maybe you can try to find one thing that might even sort of interest her, and she if she’d be willing to participate.

Post # 4
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think it’s good that you know this about your mom so you aren’t going in with any expectations that she’ll be giddy over your day, only to be crushed when it turns out she’s not interested.

My mom will appear disinterested in things that she doesn’t understand or in situations where she feels overwhelmed or uncomfortable.  Maybe that’s how your mom feels.

Don’t judge your mom based on what other moms do.  You want her to love you for who you are, right?  Then you should also love her for who SHE is.  Don’t burden her with wedding things you know she won’t understand or get excited about.  Surround yourself with people who WILL get excited about a cake tasting and a bridal shower and enjoy your engagement.  🙂

Post # 5
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree don’t force it. People are different and hard to change. 

I was looking forward to the mother daughter moments in my wedding but instead we just fought. I was diaPpointed when I looked back but that’s human nature. I forgot that we always fought a lot when we get together!

Post # 6
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Ladylynx:  Are you close with your sister?  Maybe you and her can have a secret agreement to have her kind of be your “mom” in this?

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