(Closed) Mom Issues

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Is it a really expensive dress? Maybe she doesn’t have the money and doesn’t want to tell you that she can’t pay for it? 

Post # 4
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think livvie could be on to something…

 

 

  but from personal experience with my mom… some moms just aren’t interested.  My mother is not very sentimental, and while she loves my fiance…  She’s indifferent to my marrying.  It’s just how my mom is… some women don’t get excited about weddings (I am one of them).  I bought my dress off of ebay, but did not tell my mother.  The same week I got my dress I went dress shopping with my mother which was totally frustrating for her (sales people sucked and we couldn’t find anything we liked).  When we got home I showed her my dress and she was happy and suprised.  Do you think maybe your mom wanted to shop with you?  Not just try on the dress you think is the one.. but shop shop- I’m talking 100 dresses in a six hour span?  

    My mom is not sentimental… but I know the experience of dress shopping is something she enjoyed, and t would have ruined it for her a little is she would have known I alreay had a dress.  

 

   Don’t get upset…  lure her out on a shopping trip.  Make the shopping trip about her if you have to (she is the Mother of the Bride)- and spring it on her.  

Post # 6
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

maybe she is sad to see you getting married of and feels that seeing you in the dress will only make it all the more "real" for her. I think this was kind of the case for my mom when we first started looking at dresses, she was excited and came along but also a little negative. So, when I talked to her about it, she kinda’ burst into teard about me being her baby (i am the youngest of three girls) and getting married and leaving her and all that good stuff. haha. it was really cute. maybe you can have a heart ot heart with her – especially if you are her first to get married and your other sisters seem to "dislike" her – it can be an attachment thing? just a thought. good luck!

Post # 8
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Aww that makes me feel so bad for you. My mom was so excited about my dress. I ordered it online and the day I got it I had to go to work right after and didn’t get home until late and she wanted to see it on someone so bad she almost got my sister to put it on! I didn’t get home until 11 and she was like "GO GET YOUR DRESS!" so I feel for you that you dont think your mom is interested. Give her the deadline.. make her understand that the wedding dress is one of the most important aspects of the wedding!

Post # 9
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I’m so sorry and totally understand where you’re coming from. I posted the other day about a crappy e-mail my mom sent me (sorry I can’t link it, so it’s at the bottom of my response). When we talked later about my dress fitting–which we’re flying all the way to Seattle for–she mentioned something about how she "probably won’t even be in there for the fitting." Huh?! I didn’t get it. And still don’t. Maybe our moms want us to feel like the decision is ours and they’re not pressuring us, or something? Or maybe your mom feels like the purchase date is so far in the future that she has plenty of time to see it. I think that may be more it–that she doesn’t know why she has to see it NOW instead of when you’re actually going to plunk down the money.

Have you had a friend or another close relative come see you in it? I know it’s not the same as having your mom, but maybe it would feel good to have someone else see how special it is.

Good luck and let us know what happens…

GV 

 

 

I just received this email from my mom. Please help me figure out what to do.

Post # 10
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

Could you take a photo of you in the dress and send it to her?  I know most bridal shops won’t let you take photos, but if you tell them this is the only thing standing between you and buying the dress, and yo have a nice sales person, they will usually let you take a couple photos.

Post # 12
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I would send her the picture – with a note that says how much you want her to see you in the dress before you pull the trigger and buy it – and since you seem to have trouble coordinating… etc. 

I’m not sure what your mom’s deal is.  My mom is super-interested in some details, and others she seems to care less.  She is paying for a lot of our wedding, so I felt like she should have some input.  But either she is hyper-interested, or it’s like "Sure, whatever, that’s very nice."  Arrrrgh!!  I guess I should be happy that she’s not one of the micro-managing moms, but it’s a little weird in its unpredictability.  I would bet your mom is having some issues about you growing up and getting married, and just isn’t dealing with them in the best way (although perhaps not in the worst way either).  Parents are only human too, strange as that may seem.

Post # 14
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I’m so glad you talked to her – it’s nice that she was willing to tell you why she’s acting how she is. Keep reiterating to her it’ll be more of a bonding experience for the two of you to go get the dress together, so she can feel like you want to do it for closeness reasons.

You look SO beautiful in the dress… the shape is perfect for you. I love the meringue! 

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