(Closed) mom just keeps inviting people…SMH.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ames12708:  Yikes, it’s so hard to balance with parents sometimes, especcially when they’re paying. It might be too late for this, but maybe you should give your mom a number of guests she’s allowed, or ask her to rank her guests, so that they canb e invited in order and not overwhelm your guest list?

Post # 4
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ames12708:  I know your parents are paying BUT make sure your dear friends make the list. Talk to your mother and tell her your friends take priority over their friends. IS there a way at this point you can add your friends? If there was a strict seating limit from the start, I would have given them only 10 people to invite. I hoep for your case a lot say no.

Post # 5
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

You’re over the guest list by 30 people, you’re invitations have gone out. No more! You need to stand up to your parents and tell them exactly what you’ve whined to us about. You can’t depend on “No” replies to your rsvps!! What happens if only 10 send back no replies? Then you’re out of a venue. It’s not a suggestion on their behalf, it has to do with firecodes. How would you feel losing your venue due to your parents inviting a number of people you could care less about having but are doing so because you feel obliged because they’re footing the bill. If you have 100 essential people, they’re allowed 20 of there own. Personally, this day isn’t about their freinds…it’s about you and who you chose to share your moment with. Seriously, bring it up to your parents in a mature, factual manner and make it known that although you are gracious they are paying the bills that you have a list, and a number you have to uphold.

Post # 6
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

if your ceremony only holds 120 there is your out. try “Mom,  i would love to include all of your friends but no one is going to get to see the wedding if we get shut down for firecode !”   it might work…

Post # 7
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You need to put a stop to it now.  You will lose the deposit on the venue if you have to change due to the length of the guest list.  Since they’re paying, try putting it in that perspective.  Or maybe you get the upgrade the venue!

Post # 8
Hostess
11168 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I hear that. I just sent my invites out today and my Future Mother-In-Law added 12, yes 12!, people within the last week. I had never met or heard of some of them before.

Here’s hoping we both get enough no’s!

Post # 9
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I am going to be controlling the invites to avoid situations like this! My mom would be a problem but FMiL has a huge family. 

Good luck!

Post # 10
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I do think your parents should be able to invite some friends but not more than 10-15% of your overall guest list. Do they have an a-list and a b-list? They have to realize not that many people can fit in the venue. My suggestion – have her rank them in terms of importance and then go from there. 

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