Post # 1
Well long ago when we first started the guest list and I sent it to my parents, they were tweaked bc none of their friends were on the list, but naturally we had several friends on the list. They grumbled that they would only know like ten people at my wedding.
To which I am thinking “too bad so sad I moved away at 18 of course you don’t know most of my friends and I’m getting married in my town not yours…ect”
Anyway logic did not prevail. I finally agreed to invite all the most important people first, then wait for RSVPs to come back before inviting the secondary rung, which contains my friends. But somehow my parents friends have made it into the first rung. ugh. (they are paying but seriously isn’t it my wedding?) Anyway I sucked it up and went on with it, except now, my mom just keeps sending me updated versions of the guest list with more of their friends on there each time.
Additionally we have large families on both sides. In a perfect world about 75 no more than 100 people will attend the wedding, furthermore, the ceremony only seats 120.
Guess how many people are on the guest list…..over 150. SERIOUSLY hoping most of them say no!
Post # 3
@ames12708: Yikes, it’s so hard to balance with parents sometimes, especcially when they’re paying. It might be too late for this, but maybe you should give your mom a number of guests she’s allowed, or ask her to rank her guests, so that they canb e invited in order and not overwhelm your guest list?
Post # 4
@ames12708: I know your parents are paying BUT make sure your dear friends make the list. Talk to your mother and tell her your friends take priority over their friends. IS there a way at this point you can add your friends? If there was a strict seating limit from the start, I would have given them only 10 people to invite. I hoep for your case a lot say no.
Post # 5
You’re over the guest list by 30 people, you’re invitations have gone out. No more! You need to stand up to your parents and tell them exactly what you’ve whined to us about. You can’t depend on “No” replies to your rsvps!! What happens if only 10 send back no replies? Then you’re out of a venue. It’s not a suggestion on their behalf, it has to do with firecodes. How would you feel losing your venue due to your parents inviting a number of people you could care less about having but are doing so because you feel obliged because they’re footing the bill. If you have 100 essential people, they’re allowed 20 of there own. Personally, this day isn’t about their freinds…it’s about you and who you chose to share your moment with. Seriously, bring it up to your parents in a mature, factual manner and make it known that although you are gracious they are paying the bills that you have a list, and a number you have to uphold.
Post # 6
if your ceremony only holds 120 there is your out. try “Mom, i would love to include all of your friends but no one is going to get to see the wedding if we get shut down for firecode !” it might work…
Post # 7
You need to put a stop to it now. You will lose the deposit on the venue if you have to change due to the length of the guest list. Since they’re paying, try putting it in that perspective. Or maybe you get the upgrade the venue!
Post # 8
I hear that. I just sent my invites out today and my Future Mother-In-Law added 12, yes 12!, people within the last week. I had never met or heard of some of them before.
Here’s hoping we both get enough no’s!
Post # 9
I am going to be controlling the invites to avoid situations like this! My mom would be a problem but FMiL has a huge family.
Post # 10
I do think your parents should be able to invite some friends but not more than 10-15% of your overall guest list. Do they have an a-list and a b-list? They have to realize not that many people can fit in the venue. My suggestion – have her rank them in terms of importance and then go from there.