Post # 1
I find myself in an unfortunate situation. My mom offered to make my veil, and because I thought it would please her to have a mother/daughter project, I agreed. She’s an excellent sewer. Back in November we went and picked out patterns and material. To create the veil I wanted, we were going to have to mix two patterns. I wanted a single tier, double or triple ribbon edge all the way up, graduated drop, on a comb to stick in my half-up hairstyle.
Anyway, my mom doesn’t get around to making it until February! At one point when I’m seeing how she’s doing, she tells me she doesn’t have enough fabric, which I think is strange. Now I know why. Anyway, the veil turned out to be a lot more work than I was expecting, mainly because she was MAKING THE WRONG VEIL! At some point she must have completely forgotten EVERYTHING. I was doing a final test-run of my look the yesterday, so I begged her to finish it and send it to me by Friday. She stayed home from work to finish it and overnighted it to me (expensive). I got it on Friday, and am severely disappointed and I’m not sure what to do.
The veil is beautiful. It’s fine; not horrific. But it’s not what I wanted and I don’t love it. So my options are 1) to deal with it, 2) to modify it more to what I want (remove the second tier), or 3) abandon it and buy a new veil.
Here is what I wanted:
Here is what I got (it’s hard to tell, but the bottom is a sort of golden rattail edge, not a ribbon):
Post # 3
Removing a tier should be too difficult but definetly try not to ditch the hole thing. Unless you sew a lot or do anything like that no one can appreciate the work one puts into these things.
Post # 4
It can be very upsetting when you have a specific look you want and you arent able to have that. In your situation, your mom might be very sensitive to altering the veil. I would sit her down and explain gently that the veil is a little too full and isnt working with your hairstyle. (you mentioned you wanted half up, you might not be able to see the back of your hair/dress as well?) It might not be the most honest way to go but there is no reason to hurt your mom’s feelings when you dont have to. After all, she did work very hard on it and you said you dont hate the veil completely. This explaination will lessen the possible tension between you and your mom and allow you to make the changes you want!
Hope this helps!
Post # 5
@naturalysam: Yeah. I know how much work sewing can be! I definitely don’t want her to feel like her efforts are not appreciated.
@nishaes: That is excellent advice (throwing the hair in). I’m also wearing a bolero only during the ceremony, and with the thinner veil you can see more of the details.
Post # 6
Also, if you do cut off the top layer, Adding a hair comb to the top of the veil will cover any unsightly bits of material. All you really need is a trip to your favorite bridal salon. You may already have something in mind!
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Those veils look nothing alike. If you send her the photos, she can see for herself- although I assume she had the first photo to work from?? Not sure what happened- are you ok with the bottom of it?
Worst case scenario- you could sell the veil she made and buy another one- but talk to her first. I can see why you’re disappointed- the one your Mom made is beautiful- but it’s like night and day from what you wanted.
Post # 8
Personally I think if you remove one tier, the veil wo0uld look fine.
Post # 9
This is a tough one, because I know my heart break telling my mom it wasn’t right. I agree with PP – maybe you can say that now that you’ve tried it on, your wedding hair will look better with only 1 tier…
Post # 10
Thank you all for your help!
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
The veil looks like its made out of organza, not tulle?
Post # 12
@eagle: that’s what I thought too! I think you just need to be honest with her and show her the photo because that’s not even close to the same.
Post # 13
This is your one day and it should be what you want. Your mom should understand you only get to do this once.
Post # 14
Can I say they looking nothing alike and the bottom one looks nothing like a veil should. You bought the dress of your dreams do you want to mess with the look by the veiL.
Post # 15
I think you should wear it, altered or no!
I know it isn’t perfect, but your mom put a lot of hard work and money into making that, as well as love. I think if you don’t wear it that someday when you’re older, and you look back on your wedding and she’s gone, you’ll regret not wearing it. That’s how I’d feel anyway.
It’d make her so sad, and it’s so great she put the effort in.
Post # 16
I think I’m going to at least talk to her about modifying it. The triangle shape is driving me crazy. With the second (double!) tier removed, it should fall straighter.