Post # 1
My mom is walking me down the aisle because my dad passed away several years ago. She is about a size 18, and a year ago when we started looking at pictures at dresses in magazines and on websites, she decided she hated all the chiffony tent styles for plus sizes and would make her own dress instead. At the time I was really excited she was going to be making her own dress because that would make it extra special.
About nine months ago she went out and bought the pattern and the fabric and the pattern, which is for a tailored jacket and a floor length skirt. My mom made many of my clothes and complicated halloween costumes when I was a kid; she made my prom dress, she made a suit once for my dad, so she has the sewing skills to make her dress, although she hasn’t made anything in a long time. But, I believed she was getting an early enough start that she would have time to get it right.
But now here it is, seven weeks before my wedding, and she hasn’t even STARTED the dress. Hasn’t even laid out the pattern or started cutting or ANYTHING!! Every time I ask her about it she has some sort of excuse and she just kind of pats me on the head and tells me not to worry, it will get done. But how can I not be concerned? EVERYONE ELSE has their dress or tuxedo. She has nothing!! I know she has the skills, but it’s been so long since she’s made anything, I’m worried she’s out of practice and I don’t know if there’s enough time left in case something goes wrong with the project to start over or order something else. And it’s not like she’s making a simple tube skirt with one seam or something, she has to TAILOR a jacket with a stand-up collar. I’ve watched enough Project Runway to know full well that’s not something you can just whip up in a day!
It’s now to the point where I can’t even ask her about whether or not she’s started it any more because I get so upset. So I really feel at this point I need a backup because I simply do not trust or believe this dress is going to be finished. Or started!
My question is, do I go out and order a backup dress for her from David’s Bridal or Alfred Angelo without telling her? (And hope I somehow guess at her measurements right) Or do I tell her upfront a backup is required and try and force her (somehow) to come with me to get measured?
Post # 3
I would not order a dress behind her back. Why don’t you just aproach it like you are trying to take the stress off of her? Say something like, ” mom, I know that you have a lot on your plate right now with the wedding coming up so soon, would it be easier to go find one in a store?”
Post # 4
Hey, she’s a grown woman. If she doesn’t make the dress, she’ll buy one she likes less. She can dress herself, don’t stress yourself out over this.
Post # 5
My question is, do I go out and order a backup dress for her from David’s Bridal or Alfred Angelo without telling her? Or do I tell her upfront a backup is required and try and force her (somehow) to come with me to get measured? Absolutely not. Your mother is a grown woman and can ensure she is dressed–especially for her daughter’s wedding. It does not take 7 weeks to make a dress. She will either do it, or procrastinate and buy a dress. Either way, it’s not your responsibililty.
Post # 6
I really wouldnt worry about this. She can always buy a dress if she doesnt make hers or wear something nice she already has
Post # 7
I wouldn’t worry about it. She is a grown woman as she pointed out. Heck, I didn’t even have my wedding dress 7 weeks bofore the wedding.
Post # 8
It sounds like your mom has quite a bit of sewing experience, I really wouldn’t worry about it. I sew alot as well and 7 weeks out from a wedding, I wouldn’t feel rushed to make a dress. I made my prom dress in a weekend, so it goes by pretty quick.
Post # 9
My mom was supposed to make my bridesmaids’ dresses (two). In fact she had insisted that she make them (as opposed to me — I do alright). But after a couple of months with the pattern for only one gown cut out a pinned, I got sick of asking and told her, “This is bringing my anxiety level way up. I can’t handle last minute dresses for this; I’m buying some.” And then, as luck would have it, J.Crew put the chifon Sophia gown on sale with and axtra 30% off. I bought them (and my mom got to hem them — she still wanted to have a job).
MY mom knows me. She knows that if I say something is making me anxious, I need to fix it. She let me. I’m sure your mom knows you well enough to understand your point of view.
Post # 10
Thanks SO MUCH for all the replies! It was like a head slap to the forehead. Of course, you all are right. She’s a grown woman and getting dressed to walk her only daughter down the aisle is something she is going to have to take care of.
Post # 11
As a dressmaker myself, and your mum clearly sounds very capable , if she is making her dress, it will day a day. she knows her capabilities, and if i was making my own dress, i also wouldnt start making it until 2-3 weeks before the wedding. she has time, plenty of time….if she is as good as you say.
if she was a novice then i would be worried, and probably panick that she hadnt begun working on it, but she isnt a novice. and hey……even if it didnt get done, she will buy something to wear. she wont turn up at your wedding in jeans and tee shirt….i wouldnt panic at all.