(Closed) mom not excited to dress shop

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 31
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr :  I had this and it was fine. I never put a whole ton of emphasis on the dress or shopping either (probably since I hate shopping and so does she) but I showed her what I liked, got her opinion and made the purchase. Just find a friend to go shopping with. 

Post # 32
Member
6586 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

When my invitations came in I was excited and asked my mom if she wanted to see them. Her response? “I’ll see it when I get it in the mail”. OK THEN! I got over it, there is no sense in trying to get her excited when she clearly isnt. 

Post # 33
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr :  I get it about the budget. What I’m also seeing is some pushback from your Mom about the cost of the dress FOR WHATEVER REASON. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t have it, it doesn’t mean she didn’t offer it…but for whatever reason, she objects to spending it THERE so you’re going to have to make some effort to bend on it with her. Do what I suggested and you will at LEAST get her in the dress shop. Once she SEES you in that white dress and a VEIL…let me tell you, cards will be a swipin’ and she’ll probably make the next dress shop appointment HERSELF. We’re MOMS and we’re crazy like that. We earned it.

Post # 34
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr : I apologize for my reply! I spent $1360 on my dress and I am in TX. My sister spent about $2300 on hers + alterations. I hope your Mom comes around and wil join you in your dress shopping. Maybe compromising a little with the dresses she wants you to look at will get her to come around.

good luck 

Post # 35
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr :  why don’t you go dress shopping on your own (or with friends or whatever), find a dress you love and either buy it yourself or chip in for the difference from what your mom’s budgeted. Same with the veil and alterations!

 

Post # 36
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

I blame Say Yes To The Dress. Always fooling brides into thinking other people care about dress shopping and that it’s going to be thing big, special thing. You don’t need an “entourage” or your mom to try on dresses. 

Post # 37
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I found my dress on my own and bought my dress on my own.  My mother attended a couple of dress shop appointments, but I did most of my shopping alone.  In fact, dress shopping with my mother made things more confusing because her favorite dress was different than mine, so I second guessed the dress I thought was “the one” initially (only to realize months later, after many more bridal shop appointments, that it really was “the one.”)  What kind of dress are you looking for?  There are gorgeous dresses in every price point, and I have no doubt that you can find a dress in the budget your mom set for you ($3800 including dress and accessories).  You can also reduce the amount you spend on shoes and a veil if you want to increase your dress budget.  An plain raw edged veil from etsy isn’t that expensive, and you can wear shoes you already own (or get inexpensive shoes).

Post # 38
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I was in a very similar situation before I went dress shopping last month!

Ever since I got engaged, my mom has been really interested in hearing wedding planning details, but when I mentioned that I had made appointments to go dress shopping, she was surprised that I wanted her to join. She thought it was something I would do with my friends and didn’t understand the need for her to go, nor is she a fan of spending much on a dress, even though I had a carefully planned budget. She even tried to get out of it a few times. It wasn’t in a hateful way–she just didn’t understand what the big deal was.

I’m happy to say that when the day came, she pulled me aside at the end of it and thanked me for including her and said she had a great time and it was much more fun than she was expecting. She got over the price thing once I made it clear that the price was budgeted and that I wasn’t going crazy and spending an absurd amount. 

All that to say, your mom might come around, especially once the day comes and there’s so much excitement around. But, she might not. I know others may question why you feel she needs to be there or be excited, but I understand, and it’s hard to make yourself not feel that way. It’s a great mother-daughter bonding experience, and it’s hard to watch others have that and not be able to have the same thing when it’s important to you.

I hope you’re able to enjoy the experience with her, or find something she is extra excited about and involve her there.

Post # 39
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sure she doesn’t intend to hurt you, perhaps it’s just difference in beliefs and she doesn’t realize the dress is an important part of the wedding to you. Ie my mum had a $50 hand sewn dress made by her sister, I know she’s going to be shocked by dress prices for the kind of styles I am looking at too

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