(Closed) Mom Rant! :(

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Do you have a deadbolt?  Maybe you can lock it that way so that she cannot unlock it w/ her own key?

Post # 4
43 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

Be grateful that your mom is around. Some day she wont be and you’ll miss her coming over for no reason. For the time being, maybe mention that she could at least knock before coming in. If it were me, I would say it in an almost joking way…but thats my passive agressive-ness. But really, just enjoy your moms company. My mom is not alive anymore and I would give anything to have her be here so she could come over and annoy me!

Post # 5
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I think it is crossing boundries. Asking her to knock doesnt mean you don’t want her coming over, or even that you dont want her coming over unannounced. I would say something like, Mom, it makes us/me/FI slightly uncomfortable when you don’t knock. We still want you to come over, and love spending time with you, but it would be embarassing to you/me/FI/everyone if you accidently caught him in his boxers one day!

Post # 6
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

FH has a friend who did this– super annoying. Last time he did walked in without knocking, we walked out of our room together and made it perfectly obvious that he interrupted “our time.” He doesn’t do it anymore.

I don’t know if you should do something like that to your mom, though. But I totally know how you feel.

Maybe you should try to get your key back so you don’t have to worry about it. Or just change the lock so her key doesn’t work, and mention something like your FH lost his set so you had to have the locks changed.

Or just be straight forward. It may hurt her feelings, but in the long run, it would probably be better than not being honest.

Post # 7
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

My brother and SIL had to tell my mom to stop coming over uninvited so often.  It did hurt her feelings, but it was causing a lot of friction between them.  I think it’s worth the short term hurt feelings for the long term stress relief.  Maybe you can find a way to broach the subject gently.  Or start small.

“Mom, I really need you to start knocking before you come in.  I’m afraid one of these times you’ll catch [FI] and I in an awkward position.”

Say it jokingly, to get a laugh.  From there you can ask her to call first so you have time to put your clothes on.  It may get the point across without accusing HER of anything.  You’re actually kind of making it about you and your Fiance being at fault a bit.

Post # 9
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Just have your Fiance hang around in his skivvys all the time until next time she comes over. It’ll (lol hopefully)embarrass her, and maybe it’ll make her knock then after.


Post # 10
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I live next door to my parents and they have keys to my house in case of an emergency. But they “betta not” just open my door and come in!

You can always tell her about it in a joking way. Just because of my relationship with my mother and the way we talk, I would just say something like “dang Ma, it’s a good thing FH has his pants on!” LOL I don’t know your mother, but my mother would totally get the picture.

Post # 11
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We live 3 doors down from my parents & they’ll come right in too…but we know when to expect them (phone calls/text messages). I have the type of relationship where I’d just point blank tell them, “Don’t you knock? Don’t just walk in if we’re not expecting you”. I’d gently tell your mom something along those lines…”Hey Mom, you know you’re always welcome. But would you mind knocking before you came in?”

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