Post # 1
I don’t talk with my mom much about the wedding yet (still waiting).. but each time I do, she seems sooo uneasy about the whole thing.
I’ve attributed a lot of it to the fact she is 45, divorced, and right out of a 4 yr relationship. She is my best friend and I feel guilty for being happy sometimes because she is not.
She has a date this weekend, I’ve got my fingers crossed!!! I just want her to be happy more than anything.
But also… Fiance and I have only been together for 9 months. She always hints at me to wait until next year. I have flirted with the idea for several reasons, none of which have to do with my confidence in our relationship. I know this is right, and I told her so. She really loves him, too… I think it’s just “so soon” in her eyes.. Hard for her to believe in love at all anymore, let alone this quickly. I think she believes I am naive.
I am sure she is just worried because of her divorce. But.. there is never, ever any guarantee no matter how long you have been together.
Like I said, she is my best friend and I want her to want and believe in it, too!
Post # 3
My mom is the same way about the idea of me getting married. Im in a different siutation, we have been together for 5 years. My parents will finally be getting married on 10-10-10, so im not sure if she upset that I am getting married first (4-10-10) or if it’s that im getting married!! Wish I knew. Good luck and congrats. 🙂
Post # 4
I am a younger bride, which tends to elicit the same reaction as you’ve experienced. My parents and friends are well meaning but they all had (and still have) these doubts. My parents are happily married but still feel the same way as your mom, so I don’t think you can just use her divorce as the reason for her feelings. And can you blame them? Think about how many girls there are saying “he’s the one, I just KNOW it’s meant to be.” and then they break up with the guy or get divorced. Most of the couples that don’t make it start out just as confident and happy and in love as you are. Even during my few months on the Bee, I’ve noticed girls who post these “We’re in love and we know this is IT, but friends and family just don’t understand” comments…and then a couple of months later the wedding’s off or they decide to break up.
If you must get married so soon for whatever reason, accept these doubts from whoever has them, because they come with the territory. And they’re not unreasonable at all.
Post # 5
My mum was hillarious when we got engaged. She openly told us she was disappointed that our news was engagement and not pregnancy, wondered if she’d actually be allowed into a Catholic church (we told her no, she’d need an ID card, lol) and asked whether we would be able to have a reception if we marry in Spain, ha ha ha, and she wasn’t even joking!
Then, when I said I might go back to my natural hair colour for my wedding day, she blurted out: ‘What, mouse?’ OMG, ha ha. I think she deserved it when we jokingly told her it was traditional for the mother of the bride to take part in a Running Of The Bull down the street, lol.
Anyway, two of my other sisters got engaged just a few months later and she seemed much happier for them, which hurt a little, but I put it down to the fact she and my dad are getting divorced and she just doesn’t want her girls to get hurt the same way she was. Plus, as time went on, she got more used to the idea.
If I were you I would find some of your close girly friends to get excited about weddings with and wait for your mum to come round, I’m sure she will.
Post # 6
Give her some time and she’ll believe in it. I bet as it gets closer she’ll get more into it. 🙂
Post # 7
Thank you, Bees. It is always good to hear everyone’s opinion about things! Helps me to step outside of the situation and also to be encouraged.
Good luck to you all 🙂