(Closed) Mom Sees Nothing Wrong with Illegal Behavior

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
4029 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Omg bee, this is really terrible. I was furious reading UR post. I really don’t have any advice but I wanted to let u know that I feel for UR situation and I understand what it’s like dealing with a mentally ill mother. Mine would never steal from me but has other serious issues.. What she did was absolutely illegal and insane, u def need to have a discussion with her but I’m afraid this is the way she is and will continue to do whatever she wants. I would just say for future situations you absolutely CANNOT and SHOULD NOT rely on her to do anything with ur money, she cannot be trusted and sounds pathological…

Post # 3
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Overjoyed:  What to do?  It seems clear – have no more financial dealings with her.  Do not rely on her to do anything you ask.  Do not ask any more favors of her.

And please read up on Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.  There is a web page for support and there are books on the subject – lots of resources and coping techniques.

I have one very much like yours – this year she sent out Christmas cards and signed them with my name.  I will never know what she said.  It’s appalling and so difficult to stay one step ahead of an NPD type.

Post # 5
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Oh. Hell. No. Grrrrr, this makes my blood boil. I swear that I would limit my interactions with her from this day forward. So much more I want to say but out of respect I will leave my comments at that. 

Post # 7
4029 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Overjoyed:  this is really a shame and I’m so sorry Bee. there is nothing U can do to make her do the right thing unfortunately. Her thought process is very different from Urs and mine so there is also no reasoning with her. Just try to be more vigilant next time and be a step ahead of her to prevent this from happening again.

Post # 8
837 posts
Busy bee

I would demand she pays you back, or you will take this up with the bank and start a fraud investigation. Her choice. Too bad if she’s your mother. Period.

Post # 9
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Wow – my best suggestion is to get a UPS box (not a PO Box).  The UPS box gives you a real mailing address that you can ship packages to, receive certified mail at, etc.  And they will forward your mail to you wherever you want, whenever you ask them to.  That’s what I did when I was traveling extensively – it worked out great.

Post # 11
5038 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I only read the first two paragraphs.  Your mom sounds similar to mine.  Look up Boderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Post # 12
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

Overjoyed:  Nothing more to add except that you need to start a fraud investigation with the bank. Tell them that your mail was stolen, you believe by your mentally ill mother (and give them her name), and explain that you’re worried that the check was fraudulently cashed/deposited into her account. They should be able to launch an internal investigation. 

So sorry this is happening Bee. This sounds like a nightmare.

Post # 13
11461 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Oh my goodness, Overjoyed:. This situation is untenable. I can’t even imagine. And I thought your Thanksgiving adventure was terrible. So sorry you have had to deal with all of this. On a much lighter note, it’s nice to still see you on the boards here.  

Post # 14
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Overjoyed:  I literally had to stop reading after the check thing to take a break. I am so angry! I have a fairly emotional and unstable mom but this takes the cake. I am so sorry about this.

For the sake of your family (you and your husband), you can’t let her do this. She’s messing with your career, your safety, and your marriage. This can’t happen!

Post # 15
3064 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Overjoyed:  Wow she is insane. Like, certfiably insane. Maybe she gets some sick pleasure out of making your life hell

However you have control now. Never, ever allow her again to have ANY control over ANYTHING in your life. You now know better!

Sorry bee, that sucks beyond words 🙁

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