(Closed) Mom thinks I'm selfish and lazy *kind of long*

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I imagine if I were in your position I would be a lot more likely to pull the strings I could to help out if my mother hadn’t been such a jerk earlier. I’m a bit stubborn and if somebody tried to guilt me into something before I even had a chance to figure out if I could actually do it, I’d be LESS likely to do it.

Is there any way you can make plans, like one of his friends will pick him up if it’s before midnight and you’ll make sure you get home by midnight to pick him up anytime after? I usually go to bed around 11 on the weekends, but I’d be cool with staying up late to help a friend out.

Post # 4
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m confused by the distance/timing of all of this…if you have to pick  your grandma up, then take her to your sister’s, then take her home, then go back home yourself, would that be 8+ hours of driving? That seems a lot to ask.

Post # 5
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sorry about the situation and about your Mom getting so upset. Would it be at all possible for you to maybe rent a car for the day? You could rent a small one and it probably wouldn’t be too terribly expensive. Just an idea. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i am in the same situation as you with the car. Fiance and i share one car and work opposite schedules. it is almost impossible for us to hang out or do anything unless we are both off work at the same time. the car is almost always being used by one of us for our jobs.

until we are able to buy another car (after the wedding), people just have to deal with the fact that we don’t have much time for social and family lives.

Post # 9
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Dolphins914:  why doesn’t your sister drive to your grandma’s for a visit with the baby.  they have enough cars and the whole purpose is for grandma to see the baby.  you can even go with them for company and to help out with the baby.  it will cut out half of the driving. 

Post # 10
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly, it’s a sucky sitution – but this is just what you need to do for family sometime. It’s hard when one person requires a lot of help and it normally falls on the same people. It’s clear your mom is getting overwhelmed by this and is reaching out for help. You really don’t have a very good reason for not doing it – Fiance can get a ride home from someone else. It doesn’t sound like a very fun day, but it’s what you gotta do.

Post # 11
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mypinkshoes:  Because the baby is two months old! lol. It’s really not feasible for a new mother to get in a car for a long drive with an infant. Or comfortable.

Post # 12
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I don’t understand why this is your responsibility and not something between your sister and your mom. I’m all for helping family but it just doesn’t sound realistic and I would never do anything after someone called me lazy and selfish.

Post # 13
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

How many times a year are you expected to help out in this kind of way? By your post, it makes it sound like it’s very rare.

I would probably do it because your grandmother would get so much joy out of it and it’s quality time with your family. If this weekend doesn’t work for you because of your FI’s work schedule, suggest another weekend.

It sounds like great bonding time and you will probably be glad you did it once you see how happy your grandmother is….

Post # 14
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Dolphins914:  I can totally understand wanting to save for your wedding. I hope you’re able to find a solution and that your Mom won’t be too upset if it falls through. Sometimes you can’t please everyone. Good luck once again!

Post # 15
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@JrzyGurl:  I don’t agree with ‘this is just what you need to do for family sometime’   Her Fiance is working the weekend, and needs the car.  Her sister isn’t working the weekend, and her family has more than one car…and it’s her baby!  

Dolphins needs to put her own family first (and yes, her and her Fiance do count as their own family now)  Telling her Fiance that he has to hope that one of his friends can give him a lift home at 1am after working a full day just because her sister or her husband can’t be arsed picking up the grandmother themselves is a load of BS.

My mother flew over 26 hours to Australia with my older brother  when he was less than 6 months old.  That was back in the late 60s.  I’m sure sister can survive a less than 3 hour trip in 2012. 

Post # 16
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I think it’s your sister’s responsibility to take the baby TO your Grandmother’s, and leave you out of it. My neice did the same thing where my Father was concerned ( her Grandfather and her baby’s great-grandfather), in expecting him to drive over to see the baby. He’s 90, and it’s far easier for her to go to him, baby or not. Same thing for your sister. Having a baby doesn’t make you suddenly become an invalid.

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