(Closed) Mom to me: “Well I think you’d prefer it if I didn’t come to the wedding…”

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh… family. she needs to get over it, even if SIL does have some crazy motive (whatever), at least she’s made an effort!

Post # 4
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Sorry you are having to go through this. My mom passed away 15 years ago, so I don’t have mom issues with my wedding, but my stepdad did say something to me one time about how I wanted to honor her at the wedding. He said he would be uncomfortable with the way I wanted to honor her, so I just flat out told him that if he felt uncomfortable about it, he was welcome to not come to the wedding. He said “what, what did you say?” I repeated myself and told him that it was what I wanted to do and I was sorry that it would make him feel uncomfortable, but it is our wedding and that was just how it was going to be. I suggest being firm with your mom and let her know that if she makes the decision to not come to your wedding, you will totally understand, but it will have to be her decision. I know you won’t be fine with it if she doesn’t go to your wedding, but saying it may put things into perspective for her.

Post # 6
46594 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Several times I have had to make it clear to people that I am not going to be drawn into their issues. I expect them to act like adults and be civil to everyone. If they can’t do that, they have another choice-don’t attend.

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