(Closed) Mom Vent

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Uumm sorry but it sounds like she’s trying to arrange everyone for YOUR dad. “I don’t know” is not something she can work with to get his kids together. She sounds pretty understanding to me as she’s trying to avoid hurt feeling for your dad.

Post # 4
Member
4325 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

It sounded to me like she was looking for an alternative to the dates you wouldn’t be available for. Like say the 14th, since you won’t be closing then.

Post # 6
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

@ElbieKay:  Maybe you could explain to her everything you have going on and mention that you would like to plan something little by yourself for your Dad after the chaos of the closing, out of town wedding, etc.

You might also tell your Dad that you would like to invite him to your new condo for a belated Father’s Day dinner once you are settled in?

Just an idea, but it’s a way to incorporate your Dad into the new place and do something special in honor of him.  🙂

Post # 7
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

I thought it sounded like she was being accomodating. She said whatever worked for you guys, and let you know that if there was a better time, that would be fine.

Post # 8
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I know you said she does things like this all the time, but with this specific example I’m just not seeing it. I just finished moving myself so I totally get how time-consuming it is, especially with my Darling Husband working 60 hours a week and myself working 40 while also going to school fulltime. And mothers day did actually fall right in the middle of our move, but I can’t imagine leaving my mom alone on that day because of an hour each way drive or my move. She is probably irritated you can’t just tell her that of course you’ll figure out some way to see your dad that day and you’ll talk to your sis soon to figure it out. Although your mom is being even nicer than that because she already said it’s fine if you do something another day that week instead. 

I’m trying to tell if your (IMO, harsh) reaction is due to past history with your mom, or if you just generally have a short fuse when it comes to her, but it’s hard to tell from this post. But if this is generally how your conversations go, I’d cut her some slack. It seems like you almost expect to be annoyed by her, and I wonder if it makes you already have a negative attitude before you really even hear her out.

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ElbieKay:  It makes a bit more sense now with your other examples…I have a Mother-In-Law like your mom, thinks her way or suggestion is always right and if I politely disagree responds by repeating herself and acting like my idea/way is silly and obviously if she explains hers again I’ll realize it’s better. And it does make me kinda pre-disposed to disagree with her suggestions and get frustrated more easily. It’s one of those things that I have to be careful about because it’s kinda like choosing your battles…it’s not always worth the debate/re-explanation, and sometimes her remarks are truly innocent.

Post # 11
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

@ElbieKay:  Sorry!  That’s so frustrating.  ***Hugs***

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