- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
I’ve been struggling with this for a few weeks now, and I need some advice.
When Fiance and I got engaged, my mom gave us a budget of 10k. For our wedding, that was almost more than enough money. Then, a few weeks passed, and my mom told me ‘let’s keep it under 8k’. So I told her no problem. Then, last week, we were going over all of the costs (down to the nitty gritty details), and she said, ‘So, we’re going to need you to pay for half of the total cost’.
The total budget is around $8,500 for 250 guests. I think there will be a ton of things I’ve forgotten to budget for, too. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but most of our ‘friendors’ are not charging for their services. This total includes rentals, food, tips for friendors, the dress, accessories, etc. We’re getting married at my parents’ estate in Napa, so it’s the perfect venue, but we still have to bring a lot of things to the home to make it work.
SO, the reason why this irks me, is because I have been saving for the past year for Fiance and my move to Oregon. We’re planning on buying a house within six months of moving, so the money saved is toward a down payment. My mom seems to think that using that money for the wedding is fair. I’m so upset.
So, since I’m now paying for half of the wedding, I feel like I should have more say in the guest list. Originally I wanted a small intimate wedding of around 75 guests. When we began doing the list, my mom started adding her friends to the list. This has made the list out of control big. 225 is way too many people. I was okay with it, though, because SHE was paying for it. Now that I’m paying for it, I feel like I want to tell her that her friends need to be cut from the list. (she says ‘ohh but they LOVE you, and they should see you get married!!’)
The ultimate problem with cutting down the list at this point in the game is that we’ve just had our engagement party, and that party alone was around 75 people. Included in that party list were a lot of her friends that I would cut from the list. I know you’re not supposed to invite people to your e-party that you’re not planning on coming to the wedding, but I still feel like now I should have more say in the list.
AHH! Sorry for the vent, I just need some advice! Thanks Lovelies!