(Closed) Mom wants to come to first appt.

posted 10 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You have to do what you’re comfortable with and not get pushed into letting her come if it’s not what you want. The pregnancy will be long, and it’ll set the tone for her involvement, both during pregnancy and after when you’re raising your child.

I’m not close with my mom, and not as comfortable with my Mother-In-Law, but my step mom is going to be in delivery room with DH and I. I’d let my SIL be there too for some of labor if she wanted to. They are both awesome and very calming people for me to be around. DH HATES hospitals and gets light headed just thinking about it, so he’s okay with a couple extra people to help and take the pressure off him.

Post # 18
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i agree with others – i would just be as direct as possible and let her know that you’d like to attend this appt on your own since it’s mainly medical history, internal exam, etc. and you will definitely let her know the best appt(s) for her to tag along with plenty of notice.

i understand where you’re coming from, but just on the flip side i would love if my mom could come to even just one visit with me. she lives several states away and will most likely not be coming to any of them, and may not be there for the actual birth (unless our timing is perfect!). i know moms can be overbearing and test their boundaries, but i’m sure she wants to go because she loves and cares about you, and wants to protect you during this scary/stressful/overwhelming time! so worst case scenario, at least you have an extra person to support you 🙂

Post # 19
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

If you aren’t comfortable, tell her why. Reiterate that the 1st appointment is just boring anyway.

My mom came to my 1st ultrasound with me. My SO had to work and I was worried because I read so much that could go wrong and I wanted her there for moral support since he couldn’t be there.

Post # 20
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@harmonyeee: i know moms can be overbearing and test their boundaries, but i’m sure she wants to go because she loves and cares about you, and wants to protect you during this scary/stressful/overwhelming time! so worst case scenario, at least you have an extra person to support you 🙂

I agree!

Post # 21
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I personally would love for my mom to be there, but just be totally honest if you wouldn’t like her to be there. I agree with MissSapphire that unless you really mean it, don’t tell her she can come next time or she will hold you to it.

Post # 22
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I had my mom come with me to the appointment when we found out the gender but that was it. My first ultrasound appointment was on her birthday but she never asked, never hinted, nothing. I asked her to go to the other because we weren’t sure that my then-FI could make it. He ended up begging his boss to let him leave and made it but Mom stayed anyway.

I agree that you should just tell her sorry, you’re not coming. If it bothers you, she should respect that. Congrats on the baby! I wish you the best of luck!

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