- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
My mom has more friends than my fiance and I put together do. She seriously is a fun-loving woman and people adore her. Well I adore her too but I have set a very specific guest list number at 170, and if I allow her to invite all of her friends, it will be hitting closer to 200. 30 extra people might not sound that bad, but I am having an indoor ceremony, so I need room for the string quartet and a wide enough aisle so my dress doesn’t knock over the flowers as I walk down. I measured, and the max I can have is 170 guests.
REASON WHY SHE WANTS TO INVITE SO MANY: She is a member of a club of lady friends that get together once a month for the past 10 years. She wants to invite those 15 ladies, plus their husbands, not including her other close friends not in the club. I don’t argue with my mom, so my older sister has been trying to help us resolve the issue. My sister suggested that she only invite the ladies and not their husbands since they don’t even know me or my fiance. That would cut it down from 30 to 15, plus her other close friends. My mom almost had a panic attack when she heard this. But I personally LOVED the idea! My mom keeps telling me that this is my wedding and that she will invite only who I allow her to invite, yet she turns around and tells my sister practically crying that they all HAVE to come to my wedding, she can’t cut anyone from her list. It is all she has been talking about for over a year now and they all know about my wedding. Plus, her friends always invite her to every single wedding, baby shower, birthday, graduation…and the list continues….
None of our parents are paying for any of it, and I don’t expect them to. I am paying for a sophisticated, black-tie, formal wedding of my dreams with assigned tables, a 4-course sit-down dinner, full open bar, huge floral centerpieces, ect. My dear mom said she would pay for the additional people, but that’s not the point. I don’t need her to put in OT at work just so her friends can come, because that’s not the issue. The issue is that I don’t want to have a crowded ceremony and reception, where the wait staff won’t even be able to give guests their food because there’s no room to walk. In addition I’ve had to start deleting my friends off my guest list to make room for my mom’s friends. I just don’t think that’s fair. I should also mention that I’ve already included on my list her friends that have known me since I was a baby, and am more than happy to invite. The extra guests I’m having difficulty with is people I have maybe met once or twice in the past. I just have a big problem with people I don’t know taking up 3 entire guest tables where mine and my fiance’s friends should be sitting at. Please help fellow bees????