(Closed) Mom wants to invite ALL of her friends!

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If she’s not paying for it, then you have to lay down the law and tell her that she can’t invite extra people. If she offers to pay for her friends, then still be kind and firm but don’t let her invite people. 


And, husbands and wives are a unit so if you invite her friends, you have to invite your husband. Not doing that would definitely be bad etiquette.

Post # 4
9973 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Give your number a number of guests she can invite, and let her determine how many to bring.  Just say, I have space for X of your friends, let me know who you want to include on the guest list.  Otherwise, you’re going to be uncomfortable and have a larger reception as planned.

I’m not even touching the money issue here though, since you have other threads going right now that completly contradict how you portray it here.

Post # 5
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

“I’ve had to start deleting my friends off my guest list to make room for my mom’s friends. … I’ve already included on my list her friends that have known me since I was a baby… The extra guests I’m having difficulty with is people I have maybe met once or twice in the past.”

Problem solved. You’ve already invited friends of hers. These other women you don’t know, don’t get invites. This is YOUR wedding, not your mother’s bridge party. Give her a set number of invites (we gave each side of the family 25 people to invite, which included their friends), and that’s it. Your friends trump Mom’s friends in this case- if they aren’t contributing, you’re being generous to allow their friends, anyway.

If your Mom wants to celebrate your wedding with the club, she can have you and Fiance and the ladies (and their SOs) over for a brunch, etc. She might say that not inviting these ladies will make her “look bad”- that’s not your problem. (I know I’m sounding harsh, but you have space and budget limitations- why should people who don’t know you, trump friends who would love to celebrate your and FI’s wedding?)

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