(Closed) Mom wants to invite her friend – am I being unreasonable in saying no??

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes…I think you should allow your mother a +1 as well. If it turns out that she chooses to bring Jane…then that’s her prerogative. I will say that I still would NOT send Jane an invite. If your mom is that adamant that Jane come, she can bring her as a guest. Otherwise, you will be faced with Jane wanting to bring a guest too.

Post # 4
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I agree in that I wouldn’t send Jane an invite personally, but I would give your mom the option of a plus one. If she chooses to bring Jane, then that’s her choice. I know you’re concerned with the sister-in-law, and hopefully, everyone is adult enough to remember that this is YOUR day, and there’s no room for their own drama.

Good luck and hope things work out!

Post # 5
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Agree with the others, your mom should be able to bring the one person she wants there, if it happens to be Jane, just don’t let the drama of “who doesn’t like who” bother you on your wedding day.

Post # 6
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

It sounds like your reasons for not inviting Jane boil down to the fact that you don’t like Jane at all.  Have you considered telling your mom that?  Just a straight up “Mom I haven’t invited Jane because I don’t like her.  You are welcome to have any friends you want, but she isn’t a friend or family member of mine, and I don’t want her there.”  It’s hard to argue with that unless you are inviting other people you don’t like.  Your other choice could be to give your mom the +1, and if she invites Jane just seat Jane in the very back of the reception hall and surround your mom with her family.

I didn’t give my parents any invites, and in hindsight I feel bad about it.  I wish I would have extended a couple of invites for my mom’s friends!  (But then again I like my mom’s friends…)

Post # 7
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would allow your mom a plus one and she will probably invite Jane, so at least you are aware of this. Maybe try talking ot her before and suggest folks that can go as her guest? Tell her how you feel about this woman and really wish her not to be their on YOUR day. Hopefully your mom gets it

Post # 8
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Give her Jane as a plus one. It could be worse – my mom has this friend that I despise. Same sort of situation as you – at our engagement party she just went off with this woman instead of helping me try to remember names of family members I hadn’t seen in years like she promised she would. She likes to show off for this friend. The woman just showed up at the party uninvited for a cocktail and interrupted our e-pics with our family to drag my mom into the house. Ridiculous. Anyway I ended up having to invite this dumb bitch I hate AND give her a date. She’s newly divorced and likes to cruise bars for man skanks. So, yeah, it could be worse in your case.

Post # 9
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Do you think that she’d be all Jane Jane Jane on your wedding day? That would be EVEN MORE annoying. If she was your mother’s +1 would she be tagging along with your mother all day while she was supposed to be helping you? I don’t know. I’m on board with MightySapphire’s suggestion, I’d have to say. Letting her know why she wasn’t originally invited, and expressing your real concerns about her attendence.

Post # 10
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would deff tell your mom that she can have a 1+ but can not bring Jane. Possibly explain why if needed.

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