(Closed) Mom wants to invite people…

posted 4 years ago in Family
  • poll: What to do about J?
    Let your mom invite J to just the ceremony : (4 votes)
    10 %
    Suck it up, invite J to the entire wedding at your mother's expense : (12 votes)
    31 %
    Put your foot down once and for all - No invite at all : (21 votes)
    54 %
    I don't know, I'm just as confused as you : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Necessary other, because you didn't think about this option... (explain) : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    45656 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @LiliKitty:  Stay strong. Stick with your original plan. There is  no need to invite a stranger and her husband, (or someone you will have met once before the wedding).

    Post # 4
    7990 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    How many people are going to be at your wedding?

    Post # 5
    478 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    If your mom offered to pay for them I’d say invite them! It must be important enough to your mom to have them there for her to offer to pay, plus she lives near the venue so it must be really awkward for your mom to not have an invite extended to J.  If you’re worried about a snowball effect remind your mom that she’s paying for J and her husband and if she wants to invite more people she can pay for them too. 

    Post # 8
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I dont see a problem with her attending teh ceremony if there is space. I have had a couple of people who know that they will not be invited to the reception ask me if they could attend the ceremony. These are mostly the parents of my bridesmaids who i have known for a long time but just could not extend an invitation to do to space at my reception venue.  I thought it was very sweet of them to want to spend part of our special day with me and FI.

    Post # 9
    1592 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Im in the same boat. We have 172 currently on the invite list. My mom begged me so much for her one friend. I knew she was serious bc her friend’s plate is literally the only thing she offered to pay for so eventually I gave in. She has other friends invited but they were a given.

    Post # 10
    2331 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I voted to just go ahead and let her attend the ceremony.

    It can’t hurt, and everyone will be so focused on the ceremony itself, they likely won’t even notice that she’s there.

    Post # 11
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m going through the same thing with my FMIL she rekindled this new friendship and now wants to invite her to the wedding. She offered to pay BUT I would rather not be meeting people for the first time at my wedding especially when they are not family. 

    Post # 12
    12257 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Ugh. Hate that!

    How many people are going to be at your ceremony, and is it at the same location as the reception?

    If it’s a different location and you’re habing greater than 100-150 guests, I’d let her attend the ceremony. But that’s it!

    Post # 14
    8761 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I can see your point about the snowball effect.  I agree that it’s not right to invite someone to the ceremony and not the reception, but in this case she is making the request to attend and I would  have no problem with it.

    Post # 15
    7448 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’d let you mom go ahead and invite her. Two extra people is not going to send you wedding into a tailspin. To me a 75-80 wedding is pretty large. If this is your mom’s only request I’d honor it. 


    Post # 16
    4785 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @LiliKitty:   Well, I’d suggest since the ceremony and reception are that nearby – and two people would be leaving after the ceremony – I’d keep the line drawn and ask your mom not to invite J to the ceremony.  

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