(Closed) Mom wants to walk me down the aisle…

posted 4 years ago in Traditions
Post # 2
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm

I am having my mother and dad (step-father technically but he is my dad) walk me down the aisle together. But that is because I really want them both to give me away.

If YOU want just your dad to walk you down the aisle. Then  that is what you should do. I personally would ask that he uses the words Her Mother and I or Her Family and I when Asked who gives this woman to be wed. I think it is sweet to represent both sets of parents in that way.

Post # 3
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015


I loved reading this! It was great watching you come to the realization as you wrote it. You really gave yourself the best advice and I think you should stick with your dad walking you down the aisle. It’ll be a special moment for just the two of you. Enjoy!

Post # 4
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Im having my mother and her husband [techinically my step father, but I do not call him Dad or anything as we are close in age] walk me down the aisle.

However, my father hasn’t been around for nearly 10 years, he texts me once a year, and he plans to go to the wedding, but he surely doesn’t derserve to walk me down the aisle.

Can you make a compromise between your parents? Maybe have your mother walk you down halfway and then your dad walks you the rest and gives you away?

Post # 5
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My mom refused to walk me down the aisle (but didn’t want anyone else to either), she said she didn’t want to miss me walking down so she wants me to walk by myself.  I wanted her to walk me down but I’m happy as long as she’s happy.  I say let your mom also walk you down, your dad is still walking you down your mom just is too, so if it avoids drama just let them both do it! 

Post # 7
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Pasithea:  I have the same issue. Although my mom hasnt explicity asked she has dropped hints. She is my stepmom technically and although we have grown a bit closer, I really dont have a good relationship with her. They are also divorced. I am very close to my dad and I just want him to walk me down and give me away, I will not be doing the joint thing.

Post # 8
2970 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If your dad wasn’t in the picture, then I would say that your mom totally should walk you down the aisle, but that is not the case here.

You need to talk to your mom and explain to her how this is important to you and that regardless of their divorce and their issues with eachother, it is not fair that she puts you right in the middle of their drama and dislike towards eachother. Your dad is still your dad and this is something you have always wished for. She needs to get over it and not stress you out about this.

Post # 9
767 posts
Busy bee

Pasithea:  I think it’s fine if you want to let your dad walk you down the aisle alone, but I would also think about another way that you can give your mom an equally special moment in the wedding.  I think traditional weddings put a lot of emphasis on the dad (walking down the aisle, father-daughter dance) and very little on the mom, which kind of sucks.  If there’s a way you can figure out how to give her some special recognition in the wedding, I think it would be nice.

Post # 10
4040 posts
Honey bee

My husband and I both walked down the aisle, at both our daughters’ weddings. Both they and we wouldn’t have conisdered doing it any other way.  In our family/social circles it’s become much more common for years, than just the father walking. Some processionals also incorporate step parents, and of course, the parents of the groom process with their son in many religions/cultures.

As a mother, I can completely see her side. And it has nothing to do with being competitive. She’s been there for you your whole life, where you say your Dad has stepped-up the last 6-7 years. I certainly don’t want to start an argument here, or play devil’s advocate, but honestly, if I was your mother, I’d feel hurt.


Post # 11
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I agree with your decisions and reasons. And from what you expalined in your orginal post,  would it be safe to assume your mothers intentions of walking you down the isle are not coming from a genuine place but more as a jab to your father?

Post # 12
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

just a thought: would you want to give your mother a reading, or a blessing or some other kind of honor so that she feels recognized? not that she should need one, but one that you would want to give her?

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