Post # 1
I just had a moment of clarity in the shower (where I do all my best thinking lol) and I thought Id share my thoughts! (Disclaimer : this post is intended as thoughts about situations like mine and NOT to bash couples who do it any other way – I’m all for people doing their own thing!)
We met young and when we knew we knew. But we also knew other things we wanted to fall into place first for the picture to look like how we wanted our lives to be. And now it’s almost time for the next step and I could not be more excited.
But I did have that period of wondering “how come I feel like it’s time and he seems not ready yet?? What does that mean?? Oh man is this a bad sign??”
And I just realised today as I excitedly daydreamed about planning and honeymoons and finally making it official – these men might know what they are doing more than we think!
So often a man “not being there yet” is viewed as a deficiency or something negative and they need to “catch up” with us oh wise and powerful ones who know the time is right! But are we right??
If you’d asked me a year or two ago I would have said yeah I think the time is about right for us now to take that step and it would have been fine and wonderful I’m sure, but he would’ve said I love her I know I want to marry her but just not our time yet be patient
and I realised today how right he was – now is our time, where are lives are at and all the things that have fallen into place for us since then will without a doubt make this coming journey all the sweeter for us
Some people say if you know you know go for it then and there and I say more power to those people!
but for me and I’m sure many others we both had a sense of who and where we wanted to be and it wasn’t that he wasn’t ready, it was that he realised we weren’t quite there yet and rushing would only ruin it. And he was dead right.
Shock horror do they know us better than we know ourselves sometimes??? Lol
Ps any tips on how to contain the excitement of knowing it could be any day now would be much appreciated eek!!
Post # 2
you make a very good point. That said, today I am very much in an I am right and we shouldn’t have to keep waiting mood :p haha, but you are right. I’m not going to say his timing is perfect either, but I have to believe it will work out eventually and then be the right time for us.
Post # 3
Squirrelz15: haha oh I’ve certainly had those days! And you’re absolutely right it’s not one person or the other dictating the timing it’s all about communication and often compromise!
Post # 4
Showers are great for philosophy! I feel similarly. We are not yet engaged, but we both knew after the first date that this is it. Our relationship has changed so much since then, and even in the last couple of months alone it has matured hugely. Although waiting is sometimes frustrating, we should see it as a time for the relationship to grow into the most stable foundation for a marriage.
Post # 5
Brownbear23: Your post is so true! I have been with my fiance for 7 years, and we have been engaged for 9 months. We knew we wanted to marry when we were 19 years old, but maaaan we also knew we wanted a lot of things to be right first! We wanted to feel like we had built a life as individuals and as partners, attain higher degrees, travel, explore and be financially comfortable. A few years ago I reallly got the itch and started feeling like the time was NOW and that he should HURRY UP. And though I think it should be a joined decision, I’m glad he didn’t pop the question until he did! Like you said, we would have been very happy if we’d married a few years ago I’m sure, but I feel SO perfectly ready now with everything we’ve worked for on our own and together… I hate that I worried so much about it, because it really did happen once the time was right. : )
Post # 6
Brownbear23: Very true. I thought we were ready over two years ago when we first moved in together. Thats when all the “waiitng” technically started for me but looking back on who we were then and what we’ve grown into even in such a short amount of time, I know that we weren’t acutally ready then.