(Closed) Momma-drama: Guest list vs. Budget

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you need to sit down with her and lay out that you really can’t afford the 40 extra people on your own. Tell her that if she feels that strongly they should come then she will have to contribute that amount to cover it. Be calm and explain that your Fiance isn’t working right now and that you only budgeted for the people you invited to your Destination Wedding before you moved it back home.

 

Post # 4
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@sceeder: exactly what i was going to say 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MissCanyon: Good for you! And you really do need to stick to your guns. I am on a super strict budget and I basically say to Future Mother-In-Law or my aunt, depending on the day “Yes, we can do that if you want to pay for it, if you don’t, it isn’t happening because I am paying for this wedding and I can’t afford it. period.”

Sometimes, you just have to be a [email protected]#*% and put the foot down hard on the ground. It is hard but you have to remember it is your money and your debt that you could be carrying for a long time.

Post # 9
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

What kind of response are you getting when you explain the situation?  Is your mom thinking something like: “Oh…most of these people won’t come, but need to be invited” or does she think they will actually show?

I’m a visual person, so if you had to explain something like this to me (although I would hope I would get the “there is no money for these shenanigans” reasoning lol), I would want to see something written down, with numbers.  Break it down for her as you have for us (the whole 62%, 10%) bit.  I would show her the discrepancy between your budget and what she is asking you to do (ie: Mom, if we invite all the extra people you’ve added, it will add $3000 to our bill).  Then I would clearly say you can’t afford that extra money.  You can’t bleed a stone.  If she wants to invite them, she’ll have to cough up the cash.

I understand where your mom is coming from too (it’s cool that she’s so excited!), but unfortunately you can’t invite everyone because you don’t have an unlimited budget.  Try and tailor the way you explain why this won’t work to her actual reasoning of why it can.

Stay strong!

 

 

Post # 11
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

*hugs*

 

I think we have the same mother. 

Post # 13
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@MissCanyon:  Sounds like you found a great compromise.

Amusing that (even though you’ve already booked a caterer) she had a completely different wedding in mind.  lol  

Yay!  It worked out!

Post # 14
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MissCanyon:  Thanks!  Luckily we aren’t really at the invite list making stage yet.  However, my mom has expressed (even pre-engagement) that she wants to invite coworkers of her’s whom I’ve never met!  So I am sure I will need those hugs or pillows to punch.  =)

Post # 16
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@MissCanyon: I’m bummed for you that you had to move your wedding!  The Grand Canyon thing sounded so awesome!  I’m sure your home wedding will be wonderful though, and you’ll get to celebrate with more people.  Glad you worked out the guest list issues.

The topic ‘Momma-drama: Guest list vs. Budget’ is closed to new replies.

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