(Closed) mom/mil/moh issues – need to vent!!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
30388 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

At some point, it wil help if you can get to the point of  having the self confidence and assertiveness to carry out your plan.

These people don’t have your skills and ability to envision your plan being carried to fruition, so don’t let them sap your vision and energy to implement the wedding you want.

The Moms have had their chance and your Maid/Matron of Honor will have hers. Just thank them for their input and carry on. Do not let them be downers.

Post # 4
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Oo_mrsmay:  At this point, I would advise you to do what I had to do: stop talking to them about the wedding. My female family members were driving me crazy and I just shut them out. I would never bring our wedding up and if they did I would say something like “It’s already handled” or “Im working on that now” and then change the conversation. Also, learn the art of “mmm hmmm”. If they keep asking, I would keep answers vague and simple.

As for as your Maid/Matron of Honor, as long as she is helping you then good. But if she starts making snarky comments, I would tell her tactfully but firmly how unfair and hurtful her comments are.

Post # 5
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Don’t show them anything else! 

I’m a former graphic designer, and I also designed all of our stationary. We’re getting married at the Baltimore Museum of Industry, and when I showed Mom the in-progress invite, she got quiet. When I probed- “do you not like it?”, she said “Well, I thought invitations were supposed to have flowers on them.”

Our invites have gears, so they’re definitely not traditional (although one of our fonts is a script- Engravers and Snell.) Three other people have seen the invites- Fiance, a friend who’s still a designer (I’ve been out of the business for a while, and wanted a second opinion), and FI’s roommate Girlfriend, who just happened to be at the house when I brought the hard proofs over for Fiance to see. Those who saw them, loved them, but I was careful who I showed them to.

Sorry, but these women you mentioned are not going to like your ideas, since it’s so far from theirs. I’m amazed how people think YOUR wedding should be what THEY want. (You have to have ceremony music, you can’t have a pie, your wedding should be exactly like mine, etc.) Once everything’s pulled together, they’ll “get it,” and will probably compliment you on how beautiful the wedding was, etc., but for now- I really think you’ll be happiest if you pick and choose who you share details with.

Post # 7
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

“Vomit on the spot!”

 This is exactly how I feel when everyone tells me that everything should be paper bells, punch, and big poofy white dresses.

Who’s wedding is this anyway? I look forward to seeing your pics and can appreciate all the work that went into it!

Post # 8
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

lol, well it would be awesome for them to gush over it, it sounds like they aren’t being extra vocal about their dislike but it’s clear they dont’ approve. I think once it comes together they may like it. If it driving you nuts then don’t show them anymore for the time being.

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