(Closed) Mommy and me swim class issue

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
Member
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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SummerGirl21:  I have an introverted 2 year old who doesn’t do well at the start of any kind of activity. She takes about 4x of the same class before she participates at all. I try to keep her in the same activities, and just let her participate lot much as she wants to until she’s ready. Today at her music class, it was the first time that she ran around a little bit instead of hopping in the stroller and demanding to go home after 5 minutes. So I would just let him walk up and down the stairs the whole class if he needs to, and try to participate in the class to the extent that’s safe to show him it’s a good time! But I wouldn’t make him try the activities or push the issue, because it’s always good to avoid a power struggle. It’s really overwhelming to start something new, and then you add water and kids and structure and it’s not surprising that your little guy freaked out! Any mom of a 2 year old in your class that wouldn’t find that totally understandable is not someone you want to get to know anyway! 

Post # 17
Member
892 posts
Busy bee

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SummerGirl21:  It’s ok.  All of our kids have meltdowns, all of our kids have off days and sometimes even on a good day in an activity that they love they can have a change of heart and cause disruption.  Don’t dismay.  Any parent who doesn’t understand…they will in about a week because it will happen with their Special Snowflake will at the worst possble time.  As a parent, whenever you are inclined to say “my child would never….(fill in the blank)” karma gets you and your Special Snowflake does exactly that or gasp…worse.  I would not worry if your son does not want to participate in all of the swim activities all of the time.  Be glad that he participated at all and when he’s not showing interest or being disruptive, take him aside and let him do his own thing for a bit.  Then encourage him to re-join.  As long as he is not preventing other kids from being able to participate and you take him aside, no one will mind.  I would manage your expectations about how much he will participate especially if he hasn’t interacted with kids his age a lot.  Speaking of that, I would highly encourage you to seek out opportunities to be around kids his age – meetups, playdates, story times, etc.  There are so many opportunities to get together with other moms if you look for them.  It may also be really good for you too – I love being around other moms to chat with for moral support!  I think that the behaviour that you described for a 2 year old at swim class is completely age appropriate, try again.  Maybe he will participate more, maybe he won’t but keep encouraging.  Don’t get discouraged, sometimes with kids it’s all about timing and usually it is on their terms until they are better able to communicate and you can reason with them.  It’s not the Olympics, no one got hurt, focus on fun and some participation and have fun!  I give you huge kuddos for getting in a bathing suit and going in the pool with him – Mom Award deserved! I hope that helps, best wishes!

Post # 18
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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SummerGirl21:  I was walking through the mall with a friend and our babies the other day, another mom walked past with a crying baby and it got us talking.  We both felt like when we saw other moms like that we felt sympathy, empathy, understanding, compassion, all kinds of good things.  And when it was our kid crying we felt like everyone was judging us and thinking we were horrible mothers.  I like to think most moms feel the way I do, that kids cry, it isn’t the sign of bad parenting.  So don’t feel embarrassed!  We’re all in this together.

Post # 20
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588 posts
Busy bee

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SummerGirl21:  You got this! Stand tall & try every week, if things don’t get better by around the 3rd or 4th class, then it might be time to re-evaluate. 

Give him time to adjust to this new thing. The kids that progress are the ones that their parents make going a priority. If he’s still acting up in a few weeks, send me a PM or talk to his instructor. Little patterns can be picked up upon and certain kids react better with certain things helping them(sometimes all you need is a pair of small goggles or a set of ear plugs, some kids respond better to private lessons, there are little tricks to distract them from things they may have anticipation nerves about, etc). 

The only case that I have ever had when it didn’t get better and couldn’t be resolved was a toddler who had just gotten diagnoised with autism and his parents were struggling to accept it in a lot of ways. The water was too much stimulation and the noisy enviroment of the pool made it miserable for him. There was lots of biting and kicking(I left work with many bruises as I had two other kids who were kickers as well) and high pitch screaming for pretty much 30 minutes straight before mom and dad decided to hold off on lessons. We tried everything, moving him to a time when no one else was in the pool to take care of the noise, etc. And even then, it got a little bit better after a few classes. He would shriek giggle a couple of times a class and there would be about 5 minutes of happy quiet when we found something he enjoyed before going back to screaming when the task was changed.

It will get better if you have a decent instructor whose good at keeping them occupied and distracted and keeps the class moving. 

 

Post # 21
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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kitkatkels:  thanks that’s good advice to keep in mind – I am definitely the safety police in my house so it’s a good reminder

Post # 22
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee

He’s only a little over two years old for goodness sake.  Lots of children of his age find it difficult to mix with other children under normal circumstances, never mind in a noisy, wet, scary and uncertain swimming pool.

Forget the money and concentrate on making trips to the pool fun.  Just now let him go up and down the steps.  He won’t want to keep going up and down the steps forever.  Just go and take a few toys and have a great time together – just the two of you. 

Forget the embarrassment.  Your son isn’t there to perform in a particular way.  At two he isn’t there to socialise.  He’s there to have fun with you and associate the fun with being in water. That fun will eventually lead to confidence which will lead to learning to swim. Swimming is a fantastic skill to have anf you never know – maybe one day he’ll be an Olympic swimmer.  

In the meantime, if you want to socialise take one other mom and child with you. Children learn to socialise best with one or two known children rather than putting them into an unpredictable and challenging toddler crowd. 

Post # 23
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Try it again… it might take a couple of classes but he will eventually settle into the class and take it as part of his routine.  Hopefully.

I did mommy and me swim class with my 2 year old when he was a baby (a couple of months old) and he screamed and cried the entire class the very first class.  The second class he cried the first half of the class and by the 3rd class he was fine.  By the 4th class, he didn’t want to leave the pool.  So it takes some time.  Good luck.

Post # 24
Member
274 posts
Helper bee

I would take him to the public swim between now and then to get him more used to the surroundings.

Post # 25
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

To the person who mentioned autism, please be careful. The OP already mentioned that she is having his speech evaluated.  Why alarm her? I say that because we had our 2.5 year old evaluated for speech and the initial evaluator scared the hell out of me bu throwing out a bunch of stuff, much of which could have been a flag for autism.  I cried for weeks on the way to work. But it turns out my daughter is fine (per her speech therapist), she’s just a pistol who is super stubborn and who has a mild speech delay.  

OP, our daughter is almost 3 now and we just started her in gymnastics.  Her first two classes were a disaster.  She didn’t want to follow instructions and wanted to run around to the items that looked like the most fun.  Her instructor assured us that it was normal and asked us to hang in there for a few more sessions.  She’s five sessions in now, and she’s doing very well!! She occasionally still needs a reminder from the instructor, but she’s otherwise on task and loving it.

It’s all just new to him.  Give him some time.  Good luck mamma:) 

Post # 26
Member
29 posts
Newbee

It sounds like he’s just being a toddler.  They are unpredictable!  No one can ever expect a toddler to behave perfectly, ever.  Any mom worth her salt will understand.  At my mommy and me swim class, babies would regularly break down in tantrums or crying fits, and no one batted an eye.

Hope next week is better for you! And don’t stress.  It’ll be what it is.  Maybe he’s just not ready?  Maybe you try in another year or whatever.  Whatever happens, it’ll be fine.

Post # 27
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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SummerGirl21:  Your son is over 2 and doesn’t speak yet? That would concern me more than the fact that he doesn’t want to swim.

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