(Closed) Mommy dearest.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8577 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

OH geesh! She bought a dress without you? That’s just silly!

When we FIRST got engaged my mom tried telling me how to do each aspect of my wedding [mind you, she’s only paying for a dj, who is a family friend and CHEAP, and some alcohol!]. She had insisted that I have a backyard wedding, with kfc catering.

Yeah, not picture perfect vision. That’s what she did for her wedding, and assumed I should do that too. No thanks.

It took MANY discussions and arguements for her to finally get the picture. I did eventually make up a binder of all the elements I wanted in my wedding.

She has backed off for the most part, thank goodness.

Post # 5
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Well, not my mom so much, but my Future Mother-In-Law is driving me batty.  Her favorite thing lately is to wonder aloud how she can possible find a dress as stunning as the one she wore to her other son’s wedding.  (I don’t honestly recall what she wore, but Fiance told me that she wore TWO dresses – one to the ceremony, and one to the reception.)  I really don’t know what sort of response she’s looking for from me on that, it seems more like compliment fishing than anything.

She also stated at a family dinner that she would be dancing to Unforgettable with my Fiance for the mother/son dance like she did with his brother at his brother’s wedding.  He piped up and said that he’s not a fan of that song, and he’d like something she hasn’t used before anyway.  She pouted a bit, but then said that they’d do a surprise choregraphed disco number instead. (?)  Nowhere in there did she ask for his opinion or desire. 

She’s very flashy, and embarasses her sons by shimmying around on the dance floor like a teenager.


This will be interesting πŸ˜‰

Post # 7
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@phillybride61513:  I hate this for you πŸ™  I’m sure you feel like you’re being robbed of part of the whole wedding experience.  But on the bright side, you have your sweet Future Mother-In-Law and your friend/MOH who sound like they’re helping to make up for some of the craziness.  With the room situation, is it possible to notify the hotel that this particular reservation should have been made within your block or is that not an option?  You helped teach me negotiating power…make it happen haha!  On the bright side, I like your surprise shirts!  I want to do something similar πŸ™‚  You’re a tough girl though- you’ll make it through this!

Post # 9
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Same thing here. I think my mom secretly had my wedding planned before we got engaged. I tried on ONE dress before we did & I didn’t tell him, He could have cared less but I didn’t want people thinking I’m some weirdo because it wasn’t “official” but anyways, I asked my mom NOT to say anything & literally a day later my now Fiance asked, “So your mom said you found your wedding dress already.” ONE DRESS at a hole in the wall place, I just wanted to see! She is so bossy & literally gets so angry at me and my Fiance when we don’t agree with HER ideas. And she gets all pouty like, “I’m just trying to make this day perfect for yall.” No. Be quiet please. It’s something new every week & it makes the planning miserable and I’m ready for June to be here NOW. My sister (MOH) doesn’t do a dang thing, so one of my BMs is the only one I really want to help me out with the whole thing. But man! Mom’s are craaaaaaaazy!

Post # 11
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If this is the worst of it, you should really not be upset.  Would you rather not have your mother there for the wedding planning and your wedding day????

I would have given everything I own to have my Mom annoying the hell out of me on my wedding day, but she was taken from us at age 64 almost 14 years ago.  And she would have been annoying, and I wished she were here to make me nuts.

Post # 13
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@phillybride61513:  OMG…my mother bought SEVERAL dresses before she made a final decision.  Her dress is mostly white, with a little black lace.  This isn’t tragic, however, since my dress is blush.  However, I DID want some say in what she bought.  I’m having a very formal wedding, and her dress is not formal at all.  I know it’s silly to think that she’s a reflection of me, but that’s how I feel.

She also bought her jewelry…FROM ITALY!!!!!  She paid more in shipping than I paid for my wedding jewelry.  She’s been mostly uninvolved up until this point.  She offered to pay $3,000 for my dress, which was shocking!  I went with a relatively inexpensive dress ($765), and wanted to get a lighter dress for the reception, since I plan to dance the night away.  She explained, in no uncertain terms, that she would pay $3,000 for a dress, but would not pay anything towards a second dress.

She also offered to pay for my jewelry, but since “I’m not sure you won’t just change your mind at the last minute and want something else,” she’s said she’ll reimburse me for the $70 that I spent on my jewelry ON MY WEDDING DAY.  I mean, really!

Then, to make matters MORE awesome, she hadnn’t liked a lot of the dresses that I chose for my bridesmaids, but also wasn’t willing to go out and help me look/watch them try things on.  Keep in mind, she’s bought shoes, an expensive clutch, and multiple dresses for that weekend.

Luckily, we’re not on speaking terms right now, and I’m hoping she just doesn’t come.  She said some super hurtful things to me a few weeks ago, and I think I’m just done.  I mean, how many times can you let someone hurt you, regardless of their relationship to you?  

Whew!  Sorry to vent so much. LOL

Post # 15
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@phillybride61513:  Totally!  I look at it like this: she skipped my law school graduation.  Why not skip my wedding?  If I have my choice between her acting like a jerk and her not being there, I’ll choose the latter every time.  I hope things get better with your mom.

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