- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I’ve restrained sharing this for a couple of weeks now in an attempt to forget about it but the only way I am going to get this out of my system is to share.
The entire wedding process was a struggle with my mother – there was a lot of offhand remarks about how much I was spending or decisions I made, for the most part I ignored her and went about my planning. The days leading up to the wedding were a bit of a warning… she was starting to get very short with me when talking but I thought that she was just wanting everything planned before the wedding and it’d pass. When we set up the day prior she kept on slamming things and saying it all looked cheap – bugged me but I ignored her.
The morning of the wedding was the start of my own personal hell. She woke my sister (MOH) and I up @ 7:30 for our 10:00 hair appointments. My hair was great but the stylist ruined my sisters hair so as soon as we got home my mom and sister were yelling at eachother about it for an hour. We took a drive to get some fries and tea (which was a fight) and then drove home (which was a fight). When we got home they reached an all time high and my dad got into the fight in an attempt to end it. By this point I was livid but remained silent and tried to remain calm as this was their problem.
At 2:00 we start to get ready as the photos were being done at 3:00 and my sister insisted getting ready in her room alone. So when the photographer arrives she isn’t dressed and makeup isn’t done – so my mom is the only one in pictures getting me ready. When she finally comes out of her room the photographer recommends her helping me with my shoes for a pictures but she JUST painted her nails and couldn’t touch any – so no sister photos getting ready. With how things were going I thought it would be my sister we had problems with at the wedding!
So we arrived at 4:00 to do the first look photo and then the family shots before my husband and I did our own photoshoot, since we were in a park everyone else headed back to their cars (right beside venue though)… we did maybe 15 minutes of photos before my phone (in chest) started to vibrate – its mom – she says “This is getting pretty f-ing ridiculous, you don’t need that many pictures.” so I got attitude and responded back pretty rudely and asked her to just bring my sweater like she was supposed to 15 minutes earlier and the umbrella as it was starting to rain, she refused and hung up the phone. I could feel the big hot tears in my eyes and my photographer came running over with a tissue. We did maybe 5 more shots before the horn honked so I told her we’d just stop the posed photos (we had a lot more to do) and head inside because of my mother.
So I get inside and started to talk to the best man and MIL before they stepped out for a smokebreak, when they left I was all alone and just stood in the enterance warming up. My mom comes in the door with a box and yells at me for just standing around doing nothing and tells me to get my ass up the stairs. I rolled my eyes and followed her up… at the top was my dad and sister who were talking so my mom starts yelling. It was at this point I just turned around and started to cry (luckily only my sister was with me then) out of frustration. My sister was so mad that she went into the hall and told my mom to watch herself around me… my mom then came out just to tell me to come in and help finish with setting up.
So as I am hooking up my phone to the speaker the photographer comes over (she just did boy photos outside) and asked me and my sister to come outside for a moment for some sister photos. My mom hears and makes a comment that we’ve done more than enough photos for the day and it is too cold to go outside and there is too much for her to do. As she walked away the photographer shot my a playful look and said “No one wanted her to come for them anyways.” Just as we were about to head outside (5:00) people started coming into the hall… way earlier than we expected. My mom starts b–ching at me that people are going to see me and the whole thing is ruined – I instantly ran into the bathroom and sobbed. The photographer stepped in and showed me how to keep my makeup from running and my mother seemed to finally take the hint that she had to stop with the comments.
I left the bathroom with bloodshot eyes and a fake smile. I made it outside (with guests arriving) to take some pictures with my sister and my solo shots and finally got a picture with the flower girl&ring bearer who arrived too late for the group photo. I had a moment to talk to the photographer and she apologized for not being able to get all the shots I wanted because of my mothers attitude and gave me a pep talk to make me feel better.
When it was finally time to walk down the aisle I was so happy, we didn’t do a rehearsal since people arrived early but it wasn’t that bad. The ceremony was beautiful and finished on time. From this point on my mother was just a guest and I had full control over what was going to happen next – which was perfect. Things moved smoothly and we were able to do everything as originally planned from that point on. I was happy and smiling for the rest of the evening until it was time to take down… I thought at some point in the day my mother would say that since I was the bride I should get to sit down and relax for a bit while they did hte work.
Overall the day was good but my memory of my mother bugs me so much. She apologized a few days later for her making me cry but said she was so stressed to make sure it worked out that she forgot I just wanted to enjoy my day. We are 2 very different people, the hall could’ve caught on fire and I would’ve gone with the flow while she would’ve had a complete meltdown. For me it was also insulting as I financed the wedding myself and planned it my own way only to have her come in and try to take control – I almost wasted my photography money as we are gettiing significantly less shots than first anticipated due to her comments.
I am just so glad that it is all over and that we are husband and wife!