(Closed) Mom’s boyfriend causes family drama

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Because this has been going on for so long and I’m assuming you guys have spoken to her about how abrasive and disrespectful her Boyfriend or Best Friend is, I’d have your mom come alone or miss out on the trip altogether. If your mom refuses to see how much her BF’s rude behaviour is upsetting her own flesh and blood then that really stinks. But your entire family’s vacation shouldnt be ruined just to enable her “rose colored glasses” or whatever.

Post # 6
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Will he allow her to go by herself? This sounds like a very controlling relationship and, if it is, your mom may be afraid to leave him. She may think that he is the only choice she has for a relationship. Does your mom work and have her own money? She might agree with you and everyone else, but if she sees this as her only option, she is going to stay. I would try to get her alone; maybe take her to lunch, if you can get her away from him. Put your feeling in writing and take them with you and give them to her. If you can offer her other options that would be great. It might take a while for what you say to her to sink in, but if you approach her with concern and not demands, she will start to open her eyes and see what is going on.

Post # 8
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would tell her that things haven’t changed from the conversation you had in the past. That you understand that she cares very much for him and you respect that, but his behavior is still unacceptable and this is going to be a family only event. Period.

Has anyone spoken to HIM about his behavior?

Post # 10
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Hmm…okay, here’s what you do. Take a spray bottle to family functions. When he says or does something inappropriate or rude, spray him. Use a hose as necessary. That’s how I got my kitty to stop getting on the counters.

I’m only half joking. He has to know that he’s being an ass and if he continues to behave this way, there will be consequences. Start calling him on this.

Post # 11
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

This really sucks im sorry you have to deal with this but I think I would tell mom she can come alone or miss out.

Post # 13
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Seriously! Show him the bottle! “You see this? Next time you do X, Y, or Z or any combination, you’re getting sprayed.”

Post # 14
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i agree with what some people above say. tell your mother she can come alone, or not at all. and give her the reasons you just gave us. say… no excuses, those are the conditions 🙂

Post # 15
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am so sorry. It seems like you have done all you can do. As hard as it might be, the only other option would be to tell your mom that you can’t see her anymore, unless it is without him. The choice would be him or me <— you. I know it would be very hard for you to say that to her, but it may be your only choice, and it would have to be something you would have to stick to.

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