Mom’s dependence on marijuana

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

amilly435 :  I’m not sure there’s much you can do apart from talking to her and letting her know your thoughts and feelings. It’s true that you cannot make her do anything… 

If she smokes while you’re in the car, chuck it out the window (or simply take it from her) and say you won’t let her put you at risk! She could pull over, jeeze. What is she doing driving under the influence anyways 😕

Post # 3
Member
2112 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

That’s awful! Yes, she definitely has a problem. My mom has smoked and sold weed as long as I’ve known her. She is now 66. I tried for many years to get her to stop. She’d smoke while driving, she’s been arrested a couple of times for dealing, etc. I tried for many years to get her to stop. You’d think her having to go to jail when I was 14 would be enough to convince her. But, no. She does what she wants. 

You can try to talk to her about your concerns. Most likely, it won’t help. Otherwise, you can tell her that you won’t be around her while she’s actually smoking. It won’t stop her from being high when she’s around you. I’d make sure I never ride in a car while she’s driving after what she did to your sister! There is no way I’d take the fall for my mom. Otherwise, I don’t think there is much you can do. 

Post # 4
Hostess
9624 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Holy shit I cannot believe she threw your sister under the bus like that! Was your sister smoking with her? (Not that it really matters, but at least it would explain why she likely assumed some guilt).

That is terrible to hear. I really have no advice, because like all substance dependency problems, the person will have to want to quit for themselves in order to stop or seek help. Your mom sounds incredibly selfish.

Do you have children? I absolutely would not allow her to visit them unsupervised. 

Post # 5
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee

Instead of talking to her about her use of marijuana, tell her that you will not help her avoid the consequences of her drug use nor be in a car with her.

Also, if you can, advise your sister to never be in a car with your mother unless it’s absolutely necessary, and to be the driver if it is necessary. If your sister doesn’t have a car, help her to get one; not by paying for one, but by helping her to find one. If she can’t drive, help her to learn how to.

You can’t change her, but you sure can go hands-off and let her deal with every single consequence on her own, including the consequence of not being able to be in the same car as her own daughters.

Post # 7
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee

amilly435 :  What your mom did to your sister was terrible, but the fact that it scared her is a silver lining. I’m glad she decided to stop smoking.

Post # 9
Member
10664 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

amilly435 :  

Just wanted to make a comment on weed and addiction.  There is still more research ongoing but, the current thinking is that pot is addictive in 10-30% of regular users.  It’s a bit of an oddity in that it’s possible to be physically addicted without being psychologically addicted.  So, if your mom is one of those who is physically addicted, she will go through withdrawal.  It’s nowhere near as severe as other drugs, though.

The National Institute on Drug Addiction claims there is a definite causation link between pot use and mental disorders, eg schizophrenia. But, the link to depression and anxiety is more tenuous at this time, though the correlation is significant.

Hope This Helps.

Post # 10
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Hi there, weed is addictive. It’s a drug. It replaces the natural dopamine that is produced in the human body with a chemical that replicates it (THC). So, yes, it’s addictive, contrary to popular/non-medical advice/opinions (not facts). 

And of course people who use it will tell you that it’s not addictive or bad to validate their abuse/use of the drug. 

Although I do agree that its not ‘as bad’ as heroine, it’s still a drug, and she still relies on it. She also put your sister in danger which by the way, driving under the influence, although difficult to prove (they are working on that by the way), is ILLEGAL. Trust me, I know. Does she want to get locked up? Those are real consequences to think about, but probably hasn’t because she’s gotten away with it for so long. 

Unfortunately, she’s in denial and it sounds like a long standing habit that she has no interest in kicking. So the conversation is, ‘I will not be around you when you are using’. ‘I will not get into a vehicle with you while using’ and suggest to your sister to place the same boundaries on her. 

Realizing that she is deeper into the addiction than you or she wants to believe if she tried to avoid consequences by throwing your sister/her child under the bus. 

You are not the bad guy. There are consequences and boundaries you can place on her, but you can’t force her to quit. 

There is al-anon for support for YOU and if she ever wants to quit there’s ‘NA’. 

Post # 12
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

amilly435 :  its a good suggestion please don’t be discouraged if she doesn’t want help tho 🙂 

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