Moms of 2 or more kids, #3 discussion

posted 1 year ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’ve just had my third baby in April and we didn’t really have any serious discussion, we just kind of always knew we would have a third! We haven’t ruled out having a fourth baby but it would require some serious thinking due to logistics and finances (bigger houses and new cars etc).

Post # 3
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

as long as you have enough space. we had to consider different cars due to lack of space, getting a mini van or suv so we all fit comfortable.  we decided to wait.

my friend has three kids and sometime she is a bit stressed about alone time for herself. sometime im scared about doing everything all over. 

as long as u want to start over lol

Post # 4
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

jjbeebee :  if you both dont have a longing for a 3rd child that is strong enough to actually WANT to have one without asking a public forum about the pros and cons of bringing another person into the world then my answer would be no, dont have a 3rd child.  There’s enough people in the world to be adding people you are not sure about. 

Post # 6
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

We’re about to have our second, but we’ve had manyyy discussions about a third. We’d both like three, but logistically it would be quite difficult (new car, shared bedrooms or new house). Financially we could afford it, but we’d have to compromise on our standard of living. We’d struggle with paying for stuff like swimming lessons, organized sport etc x3. Nothing that a child “needs” but it’s all nice to have. We also love to travel and financially we probably wouldn’t manage that as often as we’d like with three. But….we’d atill love a third, so it’s hard! Ideally we’d look at it again when #2 was 4-5 years old, but we’ll be much older then too!

Post # 8
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We did discuss #3 at length.  I wouldn’t say we were at odds about it, because we both were somewhat undecided but we did lean in separate directions, with me closer to a 3rd and Darling Husband closer to 2.  I have 3 siblings, where as he comes from a sibset of 2 and I think that obviously shaped our views on how many kids we wanted to have.  Honestly, I see why 2 kids is the right fit for so many, but I did not feel done after 2, still felt like financially, physically, emotionally and mentally  we were ready for one more to join our family and Darling Husband agreed.  Now that we are weeks away from giving birth to # 3 I am 100% certain we are done after this babe and hubby agrees.  

Post # 9
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We have two… two boys that are 2 years apart and they are now 3 and 5. We are also at the stage where if we are going to go for a third we need to do it soon… I am also not sure!! My husband 100% wants another but right now the thought of going through it all again with the pregnancy and the newborn and sleepless nights and nursing I don’t think I can face it… We are at the stage now where we are diaper free, they sleep through the night, they can play together, we can travel.

However somewhere in side I feel I might be meant to have third but just because I should doesnt mean I want to? But then again what if I dont and I regret it later.

I wish I was one of those people that knew for certain either way but I don’t, i honestly don’t. The only thing I do know is that I do not want to be pregnant again right now…. I wish I had more time to decide.

Post # 10
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I recently spoke to some good friends who now have 3. They say that they love all their children and would not take anything back, but at the same time they kind of regret going for a third. They never see anyone anymore, as three is so much more of a handful and relatives as well as babysitters are less willing to look after three children compared to two. It poses problems for going anywhere isn the car, especially trips, unless you upgrade to a substantially larger vehicle. They have also since moved quite far out into the suburbs because they needed more space and that is where they could afford it. both mum and Dad are always exhausted physically and emotionally. 

All that being said it is really about what you want for your family. If you aren’t sure and don’t know if you really, really want a 3rd it may not be the best idea.

Post # 11
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

I have 3. Both Darling Husband and I have 2 siblings each so that just seemed like the norm for us. He would have been happy with 2. I would have liked 4 so 3 seemed like the right compromise. We did discuss it and I had to convince Darling Husband. I asked him to try for 6 months and if it happened it was meant to be and if not then we would be happy with our two. (It happened first try so 3 it is!) We had 4 bedrooms already but did need a new car which we dealt with in the third trimester. The adjustment from 2 to 3 was the easiest by far and we have zero regrets!

Post # 12
Member
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had a daughter from my first marriage, and when I got remarried my husband and I agreed we would have at least one more. But once we had 2 kids, we went back and forth a lot about having a third. But 5.5 years after our middle daughter we had our third girl. She is now 18 months old and we all can’t imagine life without her. My older daughters love her and think it’s such fun to have a baby around. Full disclosure- when going from 2 to 3 kids we had to get a bigger car and a bigger house.

Post # 14
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m pregnant with our second. We’ve decided to stop at 2. I think we both love the idea of having a bigger a family. We both come from 3 kid families and are super close with one side of my husbands family where his grandparents had 5 kids, 12 grand kids (not including spouses), and now 3 great-grand kids. Its always great getting together every holiday. Both grandparents passed away this year and it was amazing seeing the family support each other. But having a big family doesn’t guarantee that level of closeness. Financially, we wouldn’t be able to have the lifestyle or give our kids the opportunities we want to give them. I don’t think we would be able to give the kids the level of attention we want to give them with 3. With two kids there is a parent available for each kid, when needed, even though I still think we’ll be outnumbered with two lol. We would also need (not really but in an ideal situation) a bigger home and cars. Daycare is also killer here. Lasty, we wanted to be done having kids at 30, which if all goes well, we will be. 

Post # 15
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

amasaurusrex :  pretty much same for us.

We have a 4 year old now and we’ve decided for sure on one more. We kind of occasionally discuss having a 3rd but I think we will be done after 2 for many reasons. Daycare is a huge expense for us, we only have a 3 bedroom house so someone would have to share a room, I drive a regular sized car that wouldn’t fit 3 carseats so we’d have to get a bigger car. We could probably swing it financically but it would affect our lifestyle. We wouldn’t be able to travel as easily. We wouldn’t be able to help with college for 3 as much as we could with 2. Also my fiance is turning 32 in November and so by the time we had a third he’d be in his late 30’s and he doesn’t want to have kids that late in life. So, for us, it makes sense to be done at 2. But coming from a family of 4 kids I do occasionally have that ping of wanting more lol

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