Moms: Reasons for having kids earlier or later?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I was married and had my son very young (married at 18, pregnant at 19, gave birth at 20). In my culture, it is expected of the women to marry and have children young. I am okay with it, as it’s all I’ve ever known, however, it does come with its downsides as I was not able to do a lot of things I saw other women at my age doing in the community. 

Post # 17
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I dont really thing it depends on age, rather your situation and what you want. I got married last year when ai was 24 and 26.. at that point we owned a house, both had our careers,  and had visited the places we wanted! After we got married, i was ready fir kids, but dh wasnt mentally there yet. We decided to reevaluate after a year of marriage which was aug 2016. Well it came up in May and we both decided we were ready. We started trying in JUne, with no luck yet. 

Post # 18
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Hubby was 30, I was 26 when our baby was conceived ( 34 week preggars now!). We weren’t married long, but it feels right. Hubs got a new job and huge raise which allows me to be a Stay-At-Home Mom and we have a house. Did a babymoon and still plan to travel a bit after baby. I have 5 nephews and a neice from his fam. Seemed like good timing, even though it was sooner than I expected. lol.

Post # 19
Member
6441 posts
Bee Keeper

gwenchilada :  

I was 22 when I had my first, hopefully 25 for my second, 27 for my third and if we’re feeling really lucky 29 for the final one. our first was not planned, any successive children are planned. I don’t think we’d change it either. Having them for us younger is better. One child wears us out now, I couldn’t imagine being 26 and starting to have children which is when our original timeline was.

It does make me a little sad because none of my friends had kids so I was always left out when they went to do things (got over quick and found friends who didn’t care that I had a child) and now have a steady line of friends with kids and no kids.

Post # 20
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’ll be 26 and Fiance will 27 when we get married. We are waiting to have kids for a few years because we want to do some traveling in the Caribbean, where the Zika virus is present, and my doctor advised that we wait 2-3 years after visiting a location where Zika is present before trying to conceive to be safe. 

In 2018 we plan to go a family trip to Mexico with a group of family and friend friends to go every year (FI has yet to come on one of these trips so I want to take him) and we may want to do a cruise with his sister and brother-in-law. After that, we plan on waiting a few years and then will try to conceive. 

 

Post # 21
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee

Married at 33, started trying at 35, lost 3, waited a year, had my first at 38 and my second at 40. Lost a fourth baby at 43.

I loved being an “old” ‘mom!

Post # 22
Member
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

gwenchilada :  We planned for our son and I gave birth to him 8 days after my 27th birthday (DH was 27 at the time too). The reason was we were ready. We moved so I could earn more money, and Darling Husband could stay home with our son while finishing his degree. We didn’t want a baby much sooner as we were married at 25, and I really didn’t want to wait much longer. 

Post # 23
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I want kids now. Well technically I wanted to have them already. I’m 28, we own two homes between us… but I have a disabled mother and basically all the money I make goes toward the house I own with her. It’s a long story and sucks. Now Darling Husband is going back to school for his masters so we’re at least 2 years out. 🙁

Post # 24
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am going to be an “old” mom (my baby is due this month). Through most of my twenties, getting into a serious relationship/marriage and having a baby was just not my top priority. Some people feel ready at a young age, but I really wasn’t – I just wanted to focus on becoming financially secure and having fun with my friends. In fact there were a couple of guys I ran from in my mid-twenties who seemed very ready to marry – I was so not there! Husband and I got serious and shacked up in our late twenties (29), got engaged at 33, married at 34, and pregnant at 35. 

Post # 25
Member
7644 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

gwenchilada :  Late 20s here. Married in my mid 20s, did things for a few years (a little travel, but mainly career), and then it seemed the time was right. I wanted more than 1, and I didn’t want to have the last one after my mid 30s. I’m amazed you don’t know anyone who purposely had kids in their 20s!

Post # 26
Member
2422 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

My hubby and I have been together since we were 17, (both same age, met in high school) but decided to wait to have kids until we were a bit older. We got married at 25 and had our first Bub when we were 29. He’s 5 months old now, and I can honestly say I am SO happy we didn’t have kids young. We had too many things we wanted to do before children. We backpacked around the world, brought two houses, got our careers sussed, and now I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom because we can. We would have never been able to do that if we had a child young. Life changes so much when you have kids. Also just being able to enjoy each other and have the freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want was so nice for all those years – drinking, partying, travelling, road trips, festivals, camping with friends, the movies, dinners out (you can do all this stuff with a hold but it’s just harder) 

and I don’t think we’re so old that we can’t enjoy life once the kids are older too. My parents are 60 and still travel the world and hike up mountains etc.

if we had kids young I would have resented it because all my friends were out doing their thing and I wold have missed out on my youth in a way. There is so much more to life and the world than having babies!!! It’s so awesome to experience it all while your young and free. 

thats my opinion anyway 🙂 each to their own and everyone is different! 

Post # 27
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I got married at 25 and had my son shortly after I turned 27.  It was perfect for us.  Things we wanted to do before kids: married, buy house, and a europe trip.  We did all three.  

It is taking FOREVER to TTC #2 so I’m glad that I started early.  I’m also hoping that we will be able to enjoy ourselves after kids for a while before we get too old and tired.  

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