(Closed) Mom/Step-mom and Destination or no Destination wedding (long thread:beware)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think you need to stop thinking about what everyone else wants or how they will feel, or what they might be expecting you to do.  This isn’t about anyone else and how they feel, but how you feel. You must be one of those “motherly” types that gives a lot of yourself.  This time make it about you and Fiance.  You deserve it.

Post # 4
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh please please please do what you and your Fiance want to do!!

If you are paying for it and have that freedom then please do the sunset thing in the Virgin Islands!!

You only get married once. You want to look back on it and be happy, in the words of my 94 year old gran “One day your parents will be gone and you have to look back and think you did it the way you wanted”. Because by then all that will matter is your happy memory of the day.

Plus it sounds like if you compromise  you will end up with a lot of aggrivated stress and unhappiness and its not worth it. If your father loves you and wants you to be happy he will understand. The fact that he is not overly keen on your Fiance suggests to me that you should go ahead and do the Virgin islands sunset thing. Be happy, create a happy memory with your Fiance and live life. 

There is enough stress, just try to be happy in this.

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree, do what you want. You don’t want regrets down the road

Post # 6
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Do whatever you & your FI’s hearts desire!!  I think a ceremony at sunset in the Virgin Islands sounds lovely!!  But then, I’m biased, because that’s what I’m doing.. LoL!  We’re having our ceremony in St. Thomas with just our immediate families and a few friends… then we’re having a big reception with ~150ppl when we get home, two weeks after the wedding.  :o)

Post # 7
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You have to do what the two of you want and what is going to make you happy. This is the most important.

Post # 8
Member
7412 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Making other people happy ( who have proven themselves selfish, unsupportive and undeserving) will only come at the expense of your own sanity. Why would you risk your wedding day vision for them? Sounds silly, right? Cause it is. I know how much weddings make those of us with less than perfect family, want to momentarily believe, that adults can put aside their foolishness for just a few hours, to get along and make the bride/groom happy. We all at some point drink that kool aid, but reality has away of biting us in the ass. My mantra for this wedding and life is “except people for who they are, and not who you want them to be”. So if you follow that, its crystal clear what you should do.

Post # 10
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re getting married at Marriott Frenchman’s Reef & Morning Star.  I didn’t want a beach ceremony, but I still wanted a view of the ocean.  The gazebo is on a cliff in a garden type setting.. it’s beautiful!  Matter of fact, we were there on Valentine’s Day & that’s when my Fiance proposed!

It’s been pretty easy so far with Marriott… I know with the hotels there’s usually different packages set up that include the photographer/ videographer, flowers, etc..  I got info from the Wyndham too, but we liked the Marriott better.. plus, that’s where he proposed, so it has sentimental value, I suppose.  :o)  We’re using Havana Blue, a privately owned restaurant on-site for dinner after our ceremony.  They’ve been really nice to work with so far as well.  We’re expecting to have 15-20ppl.

Another place I loved was Villa Botanica (http://www.villabotanica.com)… the only thing is that you would most likely need a planner when using this location because you’ll have to book your own vendors for photography, flowers, catering etc.  I’ve heard that Janelle at Island Bliss Weddings is the best to work with..  (http://www.islandblissweddings.com)

 

 

Post # 11
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

You are the ones getting married, you are the ones paying for it so you should do what you want to do.  But before the final decision is made, do a gut check to make sure that you won’t have any regrets.  Often times making the decision is the hardest part.  Is there anyway that your father could be present at your destination wedding?  That way he could be there and walk you down the isle.

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