(Closed) Momzilla – after the fact

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1476 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Dang. My mom didn’t pay for the wedding, give us any money, or a gift – $500 – ha! And she didn’t show up at the wedding because I refused to let her stay that night with us, and bring her to my wedding, then back home with us. Didn’t. Show. Up.

Post # 5
36 posts

Oh boy, ladies..

I have a demanding, warped, narcissistic mother as well and our relationship is always strained. While reading your story wasn’t easy (I can’t believe she only gave $500 after all the promises and demands!), it’s good to hear others who don’t have that picture-perfect cheery happy family the WID thinks you have.

My SO and I know we are going to get married but are not “officially” engaged yet, so I have lots of time to contemplate how to handle her for things like announcing the engagement, the planning, the showers/parties, the wedding, etc. The thought of dealing with her and her demands make me want to elope. But what’s worse, dealing with the demands or dealing with the guilt for leaving her out?

@Laylabelle: Woooow. Didn’t even show up? That’s terrible. Although props to standing your ground!

Post # 6
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@Laylabelle: good for you for standing up to her.  That sucks though.

While I had some issues, thankfully, none were that bad.  The only way to deal: boundaries!

Post # 8
1476 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

It’s a difficult situation to be in, for sure. I don’t envy anyone having mother issues, because I know what it’s like.


@Pinot Noir: Definitely go in knowing exactly how you’ll handle whatever she comes up with. I should have known better, but she really blindsided me and I was taken off guard. So sad we have to plan ahead for what our demanding mothers may do.

Post # 9
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Some people just can’t be happy! She’s similiar to my mother…that’s why we are eloping! 🙂

Post # 10
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wanted to elope because my mom has a tendency to disown me when anything good happens in my life. I’d be okay with it except she does it in front of everyone. Thank you for posting that you enjoyed yourself anyway. It makes me believe that I can too.

Post # 11
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yea.. that sucks.  We are paying for our wedding ourselves (I respect you for doing so as well).  Even so… it’s hard to say no to mom… I’ve gotten caught going out of my way as well

Post # 12
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

In the six months I’ve been engaged I have heard the following statements from my mother:

Referring to my wedding: “It’s my day and I have to look beautiful for it” (Really? And here I was thinking it was my day. Silly bride)

About purchasing her dress 13 months before my wedding after I specifically asked her to wait until I chose a color for my bridesmaids: “I know you told me not to buy it yet….. but I don’t care” (Nice, Mom)

Upon seeing a photo of me in my wedding dress (she wasn’t with me when I bought it because we live on opposite coasts): “Oh my God, WE are going to look so beautiful on the day” (I didn’t even know how to respond to this)

I found out later from my sister that she then proceeded to print off an 8 x 10 photo of me in the dress so she can look at it whenever she likes and show it around. (RAGE!!!!)

Deep breaths. Keep calm. Arrrrgggghhhh!!!!!!!

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