(Closed) Momzilla strikes again

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m so sorry to hear that your mom has gone crazy!  How sad that planning your special day has turned stressful and so NOT fun!

My family is just not involved or coming – so that is how I solved the problem – of course they may change their mind and then I’ll be posting about my crazy whacked out family!!

Try talking to your mom and letting her know how you are feeling?  I’m not sure if it would work if you are saying they are very traditional, but maybe it will make you feel better?

I’m sorry about your dress and your venue, but it sounds like you would be willing to just run away and be done with it if you had your way, so I’m sure that it will be beautiful no matter what happens.

Chin up and hold your ground.  Remember that the planning will be over before you know it and then you and your HUSBAND will be able to live your lives and things with your folks will go back to "normal".

Good luck!

Post # 4
596 posts
Busy bee

Can you try talking to your dad about this?  Unfortunately, I can relate to having an extremely irrational mother.  She insisted that since the wedding wasn’t happening her way, she wasn’t going to come.  She didn’t realize that I wouldn’t call her on her bluff!  I voiced my regrets on her decision and stood firm but logical and open to reasonable suggestions that were not delivered through yelling, screaming, arguing, etc.  In the end, she came around but it took a lot of courage and strength to stand up to her!

Also, I’m not sure if this is an option (or if this would be considered a huge insult) but could you decline their offer to help and pay for the wedding yourself? 

Good luck!  You can get through this!

Post # 6
62 posts
Worker bee

I can certainly commiserate with you on having an irrational mother – mine was the same during the wedding planning. But I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest another explaination as to why your mom may be flipping out… Perhaps, because she is paying for 90% of the wedding, she feels that it is "her" wedding and her generosity should not be taken advantage of by you then going and spending your own money on something she doesn’t agree with. Not that I am saying you doing this. Have you talked about budget limits? For example, she agrees to pay for up to $x and anything a penny over that you will pay for.

You’ve made a very logical appeal and having your friend in your wedding is important to you, so you can definitely push back a little! You can do it! Definitely enlist the help of any family members to sway her.

Or, if you’re willing to compromise and not set on having your friend as an attendant, maybe she can particpate in another role.


Good luck!

Post # 8
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

Mom=zilla.   I love that term. I’m glad I’m not the only one.   I think she is being contained and trained. If she was paying more, I think it would be way worse.   I don’t even know where to start on this one except that it’s getting a lot better with prayer!

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