i second chrissie, our guests giving us money isn’t that they don’t want to spend time second guess what we want as a gift, they considered that with all the expense come with a wedding, we could use something more useful than another toaster….in this case, paying the bills. Don’t waste good cash, if you don’t want it, send it my way! jk
And as far as gift registry goes, not much thought go into picking something that was already picked out by the couple…at least for the weddings that i’ve been where I resorted to registry was concern. I’m sorry, I don’t think buying household items is thoughtful. For me, I still feel the situation out and get them money when I think it more appropriate…if the couple don’t make a lot of money, I still gift them a card with either cash (i go to the bank and get them brand new hundreds) or a visa gift card and sometimes both a gift and cash. The times I’ve given cash as gifts to my non-asian friends, they had appreciated the cash (no one had suggested it was tacky). If their parents are sponsoring the weddings, I go with the registered gift because its obvious they didn’t spend any of their money.
And as an FYI, for us, wedding is considered a big expense and guests knows this and would rather help pay for some of the expenses, also we don’t move out on our own when we get married, for my family and I, we take our parents in and care for them, so we really don’t need more house hold items in that case (all my cousins have done this and we will do this also, we become a bigger family living under one roof).
And as an example, my cousin’s wedding cost $45K, he and his new wife received $55k in gift (all in cash). Yes, they profited from their wedding. They didn’t ask guests to give any specific amount (its rude if people request for the amount), but as he and his wife are great people, our family and his friends obviously love them enough to give generously. No one plans a wedding expecting to make money, but in their case they did..and it is based on their relationship with their guests. My other cousin spent about the same and only received half of what they spent.
As for going table to table, it is not to "collect." There’s a bit of confusion here regarding this tradition. It is a tradition I highly regard and is obviously misunderstood. The point of going from table to table is to thank the guests personally for sharing their special day with them and it allows for the guests to wish the bride and groom a happy marriage and a happy happy (bride and groom normally accompanied by both parents). We happen to bust out the red envelope at this time since most people come late to weddings and often forgot to drop them in the card box. I’ve gone to western weddings and not ever see the bride and groom face to face! So I think this tradition is one that I will incorporate into our wedding so that we can at least give thanks to those that came to celebrate with us.
Okay, its long, but I had to clarify some things and now I must get back to work!