(Closed) Money and relationships – when one person is working.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

What about continuing to go to school full time and working some too?  In undergrad I went to school full time and worked 20 – 40 hours a week depending on the semester.  My Fiance works full time and still is taking 10 credits this semester.  I’m now in a doctorate program and still work a few days a month for a little spending money.  I think it can be done, especially if you can find a flexible part time job.

Post # 4
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It is totally possible to go to school full time and work. My last year of college I was tutoring for a private company, working emergency/weekend shifts for a vet hospital, and I was also working at a pig farm. In vet school I did tutoring and picked up a couple of shifts at the vet hospital. Yes I was really tired all the time but I lived as debt free (with the exception of student loans for tuition). I did my undergrad degree in 4 years and was not delayed at all. I also got grades good enough to go to vet school.

Post # 6
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sounds like the magazine incident was just a sign that he is generally bitter about having to support you and would ideally like for you to be working to contribute at least something. It doesn’thave to be full time. I’m sure if you continued school full time and worked a part-time job and brought in some sort of income he wouldn’t be blowing up at you about magazines. While your finances are OK for now, he may be looking to the future and thinking about savings, thus the magazine as an unnecessary expenditure situation. I’d seriously consider getting some sort of job so this doesn’t become a serious issue in your relationship down the line.

Post # 7
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You can most def. do both! I take atleast 3 classes a semester and work about 30 hours a week at a daytime job and still waitress one night a week too, and I keep my grades up.  You just have to budget your time.  I usually set a schedule of study and homework time and keep to it all semester. Good luck!

Post # 9
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would get a job.  You can definitely do it.  My last year of college I worked 40-45 hours per week and took 12 credit hours each semester.  It isn’t impossible, it just takes you actually wanting to do it.

He does sound bitter about having to support you. 

Post # 10
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I really think you need to get a part time job and contribute a little something so that you and he feel better about the whole situation.  While I was in college, I worked two part time jobs while taking 18 credits per semester so that I could complete my double major in 4 years.  You get used to staying up late and getting up early and you get really good at studying.  Of course it’s not easy, but you do what you gotta do.  Now that I’m in a PhD program that doesn’t allow us to work outside of the department, I feel like I’m swimming in time!

Post # 11
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

God it’s hard! I lost my job just a little over a month ago, but have had tons of interviews and a few offers. In the meantime, we have ONE income and are moving in together!

It’s so hard because Fiance is also in college, so I feel like he is doing everything and I’m just sitting around doing housework πŸ™ It has led to a few arguements, but I think things will work out for us and for you. You are lucky you have such a great support!

Post # 12
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Agreeing with other posts about working while completing your undergrad. Lots of companies even offer tuition reimbursement (if you are full time) which, for me, is a huge incentive to work hard & get good grades. I work 40 hours a week and am finishing my last semester (12 credits) this fall! You can do it.

Post # 13
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Getting good grades while maintaining a job is sometimes better than being a straight A student but not working! The first shows time management and life juggling skills. The latter mostly shows that you can study 24/7 and pull off good grades. Most students can do that, but keep in mind that many schools value well rounded students, also! A job could end up heavily benefiting you, particularly if you grab one in the healthcare field. It may not pay great, but there might be more options to swap shifts with people if needed, too. You could also end up with some great letters of recommendation from people in the field, which could benefit your applications.

Post # 14
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I agree with the others and say getting a part-time job is the way to go.  It is completely doable.  I think going to school and not working is a luxury most people can’t afford.  Do you qualify for any kind of work study?  A good portion of my living expenses in college were covered by the job I had with the on campus work study program.  It was awesome because it paid the bills, but obviously, beings it was a campus job, they worked around my class schedule. 

Post # 15
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm.  I remember your earlier posts and your boyfriend’s insistance that you attend school even though you didn’t feel comfortable doing that and depending on him for all financials.

Given that… I would have blown up at him blowing up about the magazine. 

I think its a really difficult situation.  IMO he had no business offering (and pushing) to support you if he was going to be controlling about money and in an attitude of “eveything you don’t need to continue living” has to be run through me.  IMO that should have been made clear as a condition.  But of course, you too could have made the arrangement more explicit.  When he said “I’ll support you” you could have asked specifics, like “how much will I be comfotable spending in a month?” etc.

I don’t know, when you brought up this plan months ago I think I commented that I didn’t think it was a good idea to be supported by your boyfriend without an explicit arrangement – it leaves you a little helpless.  Being helpless/dependant is very very difficult on a person’s self esteem and confidence and control.  But I’m very glad to hear that it has worked out for a semester now!  That’s not bad.  πŸ™‚  I hope it continues to work out. 

I think you should get a part time job for your sake not for his.  But honestly, whether or not a part time job is feasible depends on the classes you’re taking – at a certain point a job means a decline in GPA – and a little bit of money is not worth losing your chances at a good grad school for. 


Post # 16
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry!  Double.

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