(Closed) Money Dance

posted 10 years ago in Music
Post # 32
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

The ones I’ve been to use traditional Hungarian or slovak music and everyone forms a ring around the bride.

Post # 33
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Coming from a midwestern girl I have yet to be at a wedding without a dollar dance.  It is an option for guests to dance quickly one on one with the bride and the groom.  It really is tradition here in the midwest.  People are not obliged to dance during this time if they don’t want too.  I went to a wedding last weekend that played a few Dave Matthews songs during it (Bride and Grooms favorite band).  I gladly shelled out $1.00 (it’s just a dollar, I can find enough change in my car to more than replace it, lol) to dance with my friend, the groom, who I have known since childhood.  I got to dance with him and the bride for hours after but it was fun to add to their fund and get a slow dance in.  Dollar dances have been around for 100 years or more, I want to know who all of the sudden made it bad etiquette??  If you can’t part with a dollar you can choose not to participate.  It’s one to 2 songs out of an entire reception.

Post # 34
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

oh wow~ Cant we All just get along!! hehehe~ 

Song Choice that I think would be funny  but maybe “Tacky” lol!!:

“I wanna be a Billionare” by Travie Mccoy

Post # 35
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@courtbu17: as someone also from Dayton– every wedding we’ve been to has had one and even if I am too shy, FI’s family insists because they did it (30 years ago) So yes, it is TRADITION in his family and not a recent one.

Post # 36
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh and we have three songs picked out (just in case) and they are all Louis Armstrong.

Post # 37
Member
1557 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I could kind of give or take this tradition, personally, but both of our families are used to the tradition…. Every wedding either of us has ever gone to has had a “Dollar Dance”.

To be honest, it usually ends up being more about goofing off with the groom at all the weddings I’ve been to… that is to say that some man or men in attendance will go up and pay to dance with the groom. It’s always hilarious, because it’s usually his close friends and they just act silly. 

I’m haven’t put a whole ton of thought into the song/songs for this yet, but I’ll pick something really upbeat. Who REALLY wants to slow dance with Cousin so and so? If you can be upbeat and silly, it will be way more fun. 

Post # 38
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’ve never been to a wedding with a money dance, but they sound like a ton of fun. i did go to a Greek wedding once and people just throw money in the air all night. There is so much money, that people have to come and sweep it all up several times during the night. I think there were like 6 garbage bags full of money at the end of the night. I am sure lisa105 has some opinions about that as well. 🙂

Post # 39
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@lisa105: “some ridiculous hiding behind “culture.” Wow. All I can say is, I’m so glad your not a guest at my wedding. If you’re going to look down on a culture or a “friend or family member” and LEAVE their reception then the only one being “rude, closed minded, tacky and selfish” is you. We could state more reasons for the money dance, but it’s clear your mind is made up… or you’ve already heard them. Anyone who claims they will LEAVE a wedding because their friend is just “hiding behind culture” is just… wow… 

Post # 40
Member
250 posts
Helper bee

What is it with people with low post counts (not that mine is very high LOL) being rude today?!?  This isn’t the knot.

OP I did a dollar dance but I didn’t pick the songs.  I asked the DJ to play slow songs and he did the rest.  Our dollar dance was one of my favorite parts of the ceremony.  I got to dance with a few special people that I wouldn’t have been able to dance with otherwise (there just isn’t enough time to slow dance with everyone!!).

 

Post # 42
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hello negativity! Ewww, so over that.  Anyway, I’m polish (not from Poland, but half polish descent) and it’s tradition to dance to the polka! haha That should be a ball!

Post # 43
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yikes.  A few weeks ago at my FBIL’s wedding they did the dance to Hotel California, I guess because it’s a longer song.  But that’s the only song they did and they had so many people lined up that I only got to dance with him for like 2 seconds.  I think they made about $50.

Post # 44
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ll answer one of the original poster’s questions: No, we won’t be having a money dance.

I’ll answer one of courtbu17’s questions about why it can be bad etiquette: in some cultures, including some in the good ol’ midwest, it’s impolite for a host to place a guest in the position of either (A) giving you money or (B) looking like a cheap-ass to the guests seated next to him. In many cultures it’s just impolite to give guests any sort of job or duty or expectation other than to show up and just enjoy themselves.  Requiring them to remember to bring singles, and pay the bride for a dance (or look like party-poopers and cheapasses) would violate that principle in my culture.

(And on a procedural note… in mixed company I’ve seen the money dance start off woefully awkward. Folks like me—not part of the money dance culture—just sort of sit and mind their own business enjoying our drinks and conversation. And when only 6 people are in line for the dancing (3 of them being 7 year olds), it gets embarrasing and the wedding party starts wandering the ballroom asking / barking at men to get up and dance with the bride…. eeek.  Again, in my culture, this is well beyond the bounds of decent party-throwing and all sorts of awkward.)

I would encourage folks from a culture where a money dance is expected that it might be prudent to consider your guests if you are in a melting pot community. Maybe you should announce the history and cultural significance and that would put everyone (especially those who don’t share your cultural ties to the tradition) at ease so that they can know they are participating in a cute tradition—not some bride’s scam to recoup on the party she’s throwing.

Now I can’t get The Beatles, You Never Give Me Your Money out of my head.

Post # 45
Member
1618 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

According to dictionary.com, cuture is defined as: the sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another.

With that definition in mind, a family is “a group of humans” and in some families, the money dance is definitely something that is included in “the sum total of ways of living” and it is definitely something that has been “transmitted from one generation to another”.  Therefore, I would absolutely consider the money dance to be a cultural pastime and understand when my fiance’s family asked me to continue it for our wedding. 

However, I do not have a song in mind for it yet, sorry I can’t help with the OP’s question!

Post # 46
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

A money dance is something i’ve known every since I was a little girl while attending weddings with my parents. In MY CULTURE, it is normal. I’ve only attended one wedding that didnt have it, and it was a Korean wedding, and Korean culture the guests give a substantially significant amount of money as a gift. Most Korean weddings I’ve heard, the bride and groom got enough that basically covered the cost of the wedding. While I dont expect that to happen in my culture, if I attended someone’s wedding that was of different culture, I would ask if there are any traditions so as not to be rude. Yes we are honored guests, and they have paid a good amount of money to entertain us and feed us and most importantly, to share and celebrate their commitment with their close family and friends. If a money dance is included, so be it. You always have the option to opt out if you think it’s rude or inconsiderate, but also keep an open mind about it. Culture is a big thing and no one should knock down the norms of another culture just because we dont see it the way they do.

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