Post # 1
OK… Here I go again….Question is
Is it cheap to do a money dance for you 2nd wedding? and should you do it as well as register for gifts…. Sorry it’s been 22 years since I had to plan a wedding… what’s the answer these days?
Post # 3
I don’t think so. I’ve been to a few weddings where guests gave $1-2 for a quick dance with the bride or groom (on top of traditional wedding gifts), and it was always well-received, no matter how many times they’ve gotten married. Go for it!
Post # 4
If you have to ask, I think there’s your answer!
There was a really provocative post on money dances here: http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/04/25/to-dance-or-not-to-dance/
Post # 5
In Minnesota (or among my circle of friends) the "Dollar Dance" is pretty frowned upon. I hate to say it (because I wouldn’t mind the cash myself) but it comes off a bit cheap or greedy. But I honestly don’t know the rule anywhere else..
Post # 6
I would say that it depends on your circle. If it’s a traditional thing, happens at every wedding you attend, then you should probably go for it. DH and I were sort of horrified at the idea of collecting money from our guests – but it’s really not customary where we live. I think I’ve been to two weddings in 20 years where it was done.
As far as the cash – I don’t know what most people come up with. One of the two weddings I attended where it was done was my cousin’s, and they collected about $400. While I wouldn’t turn my nose up at $400 as a gift, IMO it’s not worth doing something that I sort of felt was making a spectacle of myself AND begging from my guests.
HOWEVER – since I know how these posts get – that’s just me, and the way I was raised. If it’s a huge tradition in your family or where you live, you probably feel differently. If you’re in doubt, I would just ask a few close friends and family members and get their reactions. If they seem to think it’s a bad idea, then maybe it is (and vice versa).
Post # 7
I have been struggling with this as well. It is my first wedding though. If it were me getting married the second time, I would not feel right having a dollar dance. My mom did not register for her 2nd marriage; they were both well established and did not feel right asking for gifts. I think for my wedding, we will do the dollar dance and offer notecards as well for people to pay for a dance with real money or with advice.
Post # 8
I don’ t think the acceptability of the money dance depends on whether it’s your first, second, or fifteenth wedding – it’s all about what is tradition in your circle. It’s a tradition as loved as the bouquet toss in some families and considered completely rude in others. If you’re unsure of which group you and your guests fall in, ask some of your family and friends (people who will be guests at your wedding) to feel them out. Also think about recent weddings you’ve been to with the same people who will be at your wedding – was there a money dance, and how was it received? If you’re still not sure, don’t plan on doing it.
The weddings with a money dance that I’ve been to did it in addition to registering for gifts. I think people usually only give you $1 or so, which is far less than most people want to give as a gift.
Post # 9
I definitely think it depends on your family and friends. in filipino weddings, for example, it’s ALWAYS a part of the reception and people have great fun making a sort of "costume" out of money for the bride and groom, and it’s all about wishing the couple luck and prosperity in their marriage.
My personal feeling is that I do NOT want to have to ask our guests for money, but I definitely want the time to dance with guests one on one in a more traditional way (where we can actually say a few words to each other) so I’m goign to do a "Family Friends" dance where the concept is that everyone cuts in on the bride and groom–I still get to see more guests but no money involved!
Post # 10
I do think it’s tacky, but people don’t like that word, so I’ll think of another way to word it. I just think it’s a really weird idea. The whole dancing for dollar bills thing doesn’t scream wedding to me, if you know what I mean. I went back and read most of the comments from Mrs. Flamingo’s post and I’ve got to say…How can a person be insulted that you DIDN’T ask them for $$? That seems to be most people’s excuse for doing it. " My family will be insulted if we skipped it" "People will think we’re snotty", etc. Honestly, no matter if it was a tradition or not where I live (it’s not, thank goodness!), I wouldn’t be insulted if it was skipped. NOT giving people more money isn’t going to hurt my feelings. 🙂 I have seen it done once and it turned out very weird. Think dirty old man work friends of the FOB and FOG paying $100 a dance to dance with the young bride. Oh. My. Eyes. They racked up, but I swear I bet my friend took 10 showers that night.
Post # 11
I am also conflicted by this idea. I hate the idea of asking for money from guests, but think it’s a great way to actually steal a few moments to speak with so many more people than you might have a chance to chat with one on one during the duration of your hectic wedding day. I’m not sure what I’ll decide, but if I do go with it, I will make it known that the proceeds will be donated to charity and will make note of how much we raised and which charity we selected in our thank you cards. Where I come from, the dollar dance is pretty common, but I myself find it a bit odd, again, that’s just me.
Post # 12
I can’t help but cringe at the thought of people paying $4 a gallon in gas or outrageous airfares and a car rental, on top of a hotel room for a night or two, AND a gift and then be expected to pay up for the priviledge of speaking with the bride or groom individually!!
What happened to the bride and groom’s responsibility of greeting each guest – either through row by row dismissal at church or a traditional receiving line or by visiting tables at the reception?? So yes, to the OP who asked if it is "cheap" to have a money dance, the answer is YES, it is cheap and insulting to guests whether it’s a first wedding or a second, third or fourth.
Post # 13
i don’t think it is a "requirement" to have the guest give money? i think they can give it if they want and if not then they don’t have to
the thing is, this is your wedding and you should do the kind of stuff you want to do, not every bride is the same and not every bride will think the same way
Post # 14
You are getting married in 10 days – it is a little late to be thinking about registering. If you haven’t already registered, don’t do it – your time is too valuable in the very few days before the wedding; don’t spend it in a mall.