(Closed) Money doesn't buy happiness but it can buy engagement ring! – Rant!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Can you guys get part-time jobs on the weekends? I mean if you can’t afford an e-ring right now, you sure as heck can’t afford a baby! So, until your financial situation improves you can’t really have any of the things you want -whether you’re engaged or not!

Post # 4
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

How about a relatively inexpensive “sparkly?”  Like a promise ring, or something?

Engagement rings aren’t necessarily needed to be engaged.  Y’all could just get engaged and work on getting a ring later.

Post # 5
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My so and I came from meger means. We squated for 2 years. at 3.5 years together we finally moved into our own house, But I am very budget minded and I made it so that this would not happen unless he could commit to giving me x-amount from his paycheck EVERY TIME HE GETS PAID to deal with the house and bills. My dad always was out of work and I grew up watching my mom support the whole house while my dad always was looking for work. It put a real big strain on their relationship and our family life, so i vowed that for me it wouldn’t work that way. We have now been living together for a bit less then 2 years and he bought the ring yesterday.

Now, I have never lived in the fantasy that one day he is going to make a ton of money. NO! I am prepared if he does’t make much. Women are now more educated ad make more money then men, it is just the new normal. I have to resign myself that if THIS is the man I want to spend my life with then I have to accept his financial situation 100%.

What I am saying is that you have to keep your eye on the budget. And if you feel the work you are putting into the relationship (working two jobs to support your household) is not equal to what you are getting out of the relationship (financial secuity, pretty things), then you have to REALLY, REALLY think about if you can live and accept and be happy with his financial situation AS IT IS.

You may have to wait a long time. You may have to leave. My SO knew how important the symbolism of the engagement ring ment to me, and while we are not yet finanially ready to become legally binded to each other (that may take another 2-3 years), he had the money in his accout to get me SOMETHING. I have to accept what he can afford. If that isn’t good enough for me then that is MY problem, not his. Ya dig?

It is up to you how important you make finanical comfort.

I hope it all works out for you

Post # 8
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

@MsBeer:  There are also gemstone rings, like this one. It’s visually impressive, but not hard on the wallet.  Plus, the sapphire has the added symbolism of fidelity, faithfulness, and trust.  I mean, if a sapphire was good enough for Princesses Diana and Kate…

Post # 11
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

you really dont need a ring to be engaged. If you want to get married save for the wedding. Rings can always come later. You have to decide what is more important to you… the sparkly ring or your goals in life. 

Post # 12
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MsBeer:  It is 12/12/12! Lucky Day! I may buy a ticket too! And you should be proud of how much you work! I am proud of you! I am proud of myself too! I work 4 days out of the week + the weekends, while going to school and doing Volunteer work. My SO works 10+ hour days 6 days a week and we are STILL scraping by.  

At least you see his trying. My SO tries too. He tries so hard. And I have to accept that. Now if he were sitting around watching football everyday eating nachos while I busted my ass at work, then we would have the problem. Might I ask, what is the Severity of the situation? Is it that you want to get married before you are 30? Well, life and definatly love, and DEFINATLY not the economy, cares about our lifeplans. 

“I just wish I felt like it wasn’t always up to me to sort/ plan / pay for everything” You and me both sister! But, at least we are the ones that will keep the relationship on course.SOMEONE has to be the planner

Post # 16
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You can get nice rings for fairly cheep at the right time of year. We had to save up aswell. I thought we’d have to save for at least a year until we would be able to afford a ring id like but we only ended up saving 700 dollers and he managed to get me an amazing ring for that cus the store was having an awsome sale ( i think the ring was 1500 oroginally?) But its doable, we’re doing the same thing for the wedding putting a certian amount of savings towards the wedding each month n its adding up quite quickly. N believe me we arnt in any better of a financial situation as you i work for minimum wage and he works for just a little more than me and we had 2 kids. It just takes some strict budgeting and will power but its doable! 

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