(Closed) Money gifts

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll: How much money is appropriate for a money gift?
    What you assume they will spend on your meal : (4 votes)
    5 %
    $50 : (8 votes)
    10 %
    $100 : (21 votes)
    26 %
    what they can afford : (47 votes)
    59 %
  • Post # 3
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Darling Husband and I have discussed this extensively in the past, and the amount we give comes down to an equation with a bunch of factors including 1) How close we are with the couple, 2) what the average wedding gift is for that group of friends (my softball team is much lower than his MBA classmates), 3) if we had to travel to the wedding, 4) if I had to buy shower/bachlorette gifts and 5) how nice (expensive) we think the wedding is going to be. 

    So yes, all other factors being equal, we will give a bigger cash gift for a formal dinner-dance where we will eat filet and drink top-shelf booze than a daytime dessert reception.

    Post # 5
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @Carolyn72:your Maid/Matron of Honor and my Maid/Matron of Honor must be friends because that’s how my Maid/Matron of Honor thinks too. I had the same confused wtf reaction as you.

    Post # 6
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Give what you can afford and what you are willing to give.  I wouldn’t expect someone to give me what they couldn’t afford.  Around here $50 is customary.  Maybe more from close family members.  I would expect less from a younger single person.  With the economy being the way it is, I might expect less than $50 from more people and I would be thankful for whatever they could afford and were willing to give.  

    Post # 7
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Minimum $100 for me. However if I think if my plate is $100, then I would give more. Also,depends on how much I’m closed to the person.

    Post # 8
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I agree partly with canambride, I would base my gift on how well I knew the person, how much I thought was expected, how much I think they need the money, and a little bit on the inconvenience of the wedding to me (Sat afternoon close by when I had no plans I’d probably give more than an 8 hour drive/hotel/vacation day/etc.).

    I’d actually try to give more to a couple who was having a simple small wedding than to someone who was having a huge elaborate affair because I figure the people who are budgeting a lot or prefer something simple probably need the money more and would use it more responsibly. I’d honestly prefer to help someone with a rent payment than help someone buy a freaking cappuccino maker.

    Post # 9
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I am going into the wedding assuming we get $0.

    I cannot count on gifts to  help us pay for the wedding, so frankly, we aren’t. Dear Fiance thinks we’ll be getting thousands of dollars…but I just can’t bring myself to expect that from people.

    I’d be happier that they’re there…no matter what the gift.

    Post # 10
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    My rule of thumb is $100 per person. So if mr. LK and I are invited, I give a minumum of $200. Obviously that amount increases if it’s someone we are close to. 2 of my best friends got married this year, and I made sure to take very good care of them at all stages. 🙂 I love giving gifts!

    Post # 11
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think this is partially regional, and also dependent on where you are in your life. Also, for Darling Husband and I, we know that whatever we give people for their wedding is most likely what they gave to us. So it’s almost like we’re trading the money back and forth, lol. 

    Post # 12
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    It depends on how close we are to the couple getting married, and what we can afford to do. No matter how much I love the couple Im not going to give more than we can afford. Thats about all the facotors that go into it.

    Post # 13
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I give what i can afford based on how well I know the person. I dont have a minimum. As a student, somtimes I could only afford $20 or $30, which was what I could afford. Most wedding Fiance go to as a couple we give about $150 on average

    Post # 14
    834 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @Carolyn72: I think it’s very fair for the guests to only bring what they can afford, be it cash, or that really snazzy Kitchen-Aid mixer. Just try not to expect anything. You’d be surprised. 🙂


    ETA: no offense to your Maid/Matron of Honor, but the meal equivalency thing is stupid. I’m spending $17/head at my wedding, and anybody would agree that $17 is a stupid gift. It’s not even an even number! lol

    Post # 15
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    This is $100 a person or a couple? 95% of my guests gave me $150/200 so that must be the magic number.

    I give $150 normally but if I’m SUPER close I throw in more or if the couple is poorer I give more.

    Post # 16
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I also found that my friends who made less money gave more than people I know each make six figures.

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