(Closed) Money instead of gifts on invite?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@missbluesky:  I wouldn’t care one way or the other bc I always gift cash but be warned that this is a very controversial topic here. Don’t be surprised when/if this thread blows up.


Post # 4
9236 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I’d think it was a little tacky but not be clutching my pearls in horror.  But I’m going to predict that you get a lot of pearl-clutching from bees here, and your real life guests.  (Mentioning gifts on an invite is bad etiquette, let alone a direct request for money.  Obviously it would somewhat depend on your crowd though.)

Post # 5
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You shouldn’t be referring to gifts at all on your invitations.  To be perfectly honest, I think your wording is pretty bad because by referring to a box for “donations” you are really emphasizing the physical transaction of money between yourself and your guests. 

Post # 7
1781 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t see anything wrong with wanting cash in lieu of gifts. I do have a wedding registry, but if I were to be honest- FH and I would prefer money for new furniture, that is too expensive to request on a registry. I say kudos to you. If people get nasty with you over this subject, ignore them, it’s not their wedding! 

Post # 8
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@missbluesky:  I wouldn’t worry about it. It might not be a traditional thing to do, but everyone isn’t traditional with their weddings these days.

Post # 9
7978 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I personally think it’s in poor taste to mention gifts at all, and asking for money is worse. Sorry.

Post # 10
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think there are a plethora of threads pertaining to this topic that you could have utilized the search bar to find and saved yourself what I predict is an incoming flaming.  


Alluding to gifts at all on an invite is not good, asking for money is worse, and unless your honeymoon is a registered charity referring to monetary gifts as a donation is even worse to my mind.  For me it’s that one word that would land you a much smaller gift than I’d usually give. 

Personally, I think leave all mention off all together and tell people verbally if they ask you what  you’d like or have your family/bridal party spread via word of mouth. 

Post # 11
12621 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s very rude.  Asking for money is inappropriate in all circumstances, and very much so at a wedding.  I would definitely find it tacky on an invitation and would probably reconsider the amount of a gift I typically give. 

Post # 12
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@missbluesky:  Shut.this.thread.down.girl. lol It might get ugly.

I personally wouldn’t care as a guest. If the couple wanted money then I’m happy to give them just money. I would rather be told.

Post # 13
17 posts

There is no nice way to ask your guests to give you cash and mentioning gifts in an invite is rude.

Post # 14
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Tacky tacky tacky. Never ask for money. When people ask you/your family where you’re registered and you say you’re not, they’ll get the hint.

Post # 15
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Hmm, so traditionally it might be seen as a bit gauche, BUT… I’m a practical gifter. I want to get something you need and will use, and if that is honeymoon cash, hey that makes it much easier on me… all I have to do is find a card instead of combing your registries for that perfect gift that is in my price range for you and doesn’t feel like a dud of a gift.

It may have been better to build a wedding website and have that mentioned there instead of on the invite, but I think there are going to be sticklers and there are going to be people that don’t care either way.

I don’t think it was a problem for you to start this new thread, because you were asking on specific wording.


Post # 16
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Westwood:  +1

I don’t think gifts should be mentioned.  If people need help finding a suitable gift, they’ll ask those closest to the bride or groom for help or registry info.

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