Post # 1
Member
3847 posts
Honey bee
The last day or so I have run into several people who have said things along the lines of “Having money doesn’t matter, as long as you are happy” WTH? Everytime I hear someone say this I assume….A. They are really young. or B. Someone else is paying their bills. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that money is the end all be all of happiness but lets be honest, it makes life a lot easier to enjoy. It is difficult to enjoy life when you are behind on bills, your raggidy hoopty of a car is constantly breaking down, and you can’t afford to do anything. I have been poor and I now have a very comfortable life. This is better. If one more person tells me that love is all they need my head might explode because I know for a fact the love tends to wear very thin under the constant stress of financial problems. I am 32 and am wondering if this attitude makes me cynical or realistic. What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Um, money absolutely matters! Without money, you really can’t do much. I think anyone who knows the value of a dollar would agree. Sure, love is great and all but it doesn’t pay the bills.
Thankfully I’ve never really had to struggle but I know a lot of people who have and it’s very hard on them. The stresses of not knowing how you’re going to give your kids a Christmas let alone pay your rent that month is very trying.
Post # 4
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
MM man says ” the only issues we have are financial ones” and he is pretty close to right
Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
You are realistic. You need money to live and do anything. It is the #1 reason for divorce.
Post # 6
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
Money can’t buy happiness but love won’t pay the rent. Cliche but true. You need a good balance of both to truly be happy but I’d er on the side of love.
I have a very comfortable life style at the moment but I’m by no means wealthy. However a few years before I met Fiance, I had a 2.5 year relationship with a guy who is filthy, obscenly rich. We would take exotic vacations at the drop of a hat, he would buy me designer everything, he had a huge house and boat, etc etc etc. We were truly in love but there were a lot of aspects to the relationship that made me unhappy, (he wanted everything his way on his terms). I knew that if I married him, I would never have to worry about money or working or anything. My life would be taken care of. I stayed with him longer than I should have because of how comfortable I was but in the end, the money wasn’t enough, (even the crazy passionate love wasn’t enough).
Now years later, and with a clear head, I look back on the situation and realize how unhappy I was becoming and how unhappy I would have been if I stayed and no amount of money could change that.
Fiance and I will probably never have that life style but I could not be more happier with our lives together and the way he treats me. So given the choice I would 100% of the time chose more love over more money.
Post # 7
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
It depends on the person. Some people don’t care about being poor; I know dirt poor drug-addicted gutter punk couples who are happy together despite the fact that they don’t have shit in life. Of course for regular working people like the rest of us it matters because we have bills to pay, etc.
Post # 8
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
I’m definitely split on the situation. Money can make your life easier in certain aspects. You won’t have to stress about rent, bills, cars, Christmas’, etc. However, sometimes money can cause just as many struggles as you would go through if you didn’t.
I love my FH – Lord knows I’m not with him for his money, because he doesn’t make a huge amount where he works, but he LOVES what he does. I am the breadwinner in our household, and we get by and we’re fine. I just love how much he loves his job — I just wish they loved him as much.
Money could definitely make certain things easier, on those months when things are cutting it close, or I really want those new shoes, or something to that effect, but I don’t need fancy materialistic things to make me happy. I am perfectly fine with my American Eagle Jeans, T-shirts and Sperry’s. And he loves me that way.
To each it’s own.
Post # 9
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
I totally agree! We have had a pretty luxurious by our standards 1st year of marriage but now hes going back to school and we’re really heading back to the ‘broke college kid’ phase. We’re 26 but I’ve got to be the sole provider for our living expenses for 2.6 years. Money makes a huge difference in life and your relationship.
Post # 10
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
My husband has been unemployed for 9 long months, the one car we have has over 114k miles, we can’t afford to travel to see our families as much as we would like, and I’ll be 30 in 6 months and we can’t afford to have kids right now…money most certainly does matter. Now, with all that said, Darling Husband and I are very happy, but having more money could definitely get rid of some major stress and sporadic gray hairs. lol
Post # 11
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
You are being realistic. We are better off now but when it sucked, it REALLY sucked. However, “through thick and thin” and I think that’s where the line comes in that love is all that really matters.
I.e. if you love each other, you will get through it together.
Now, if I were 32 and my husband was 32 and we go on a first date and he tells me he lives at home because he can’t afford his own apartment…I’m not sure that there would be a second date.
Post # 12
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
According to the studies I’ve read about, the answer is yes – to a point. There’s a certain point below which a lack of money has a significant impact on happiness. Which only makes sense – if you’re unemployed, struggling to pay your bills, etc., of COURSE you’re more likely to be unhappy. We have been there very recently and it took a huge toll on our mental health.
That said, past that point, extra earnings/wealth don’t tend to increase happiness.
If I was less lazy, I’d look it up and find what that point is, but maybe one of you knows what I’m talking about.
Post # 13
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I don’t know… I kind of agree with both you AND the other side haha. I mean on one hand I think people have kind of a set level of happiness. Some people are going to be happy whether they are rich, poor, or in the middle. Some people are always unhappy and nothing will change that. So in that respect I do think that money doesn’t really matter.
That being said….. money sure does make life easier. 🙂
Post # 14
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
I thought this was an interesting article about the corelation between money and happiness: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628,00.html. The basic premise is that $75,000 a year is the golden number for happiness. More than that and people are not any happier (in some cases they are more unhappy), and the less people make below that number, the more unhappy they generally are. This makes sense to me (though of course there will be exceptions)–people tend to be happiest when they have enough money to live comfortably without worrying too much, but when earning money is the focus of their lives, they aren’t able to actually enjoy the fruits of their labor.
Post # 15
Member
3847 posts
Honey bee
@Just_Squeeze: I laughed out loud when I read your post because when I met my husband he was 32 and just moved to Illinois. He was living in his friend’s basement because he took the first entry level position (not even in his career area) he was offered at the company he wanted to work for. 10 years later he is at the top of that same company and we have a beautiful life. I was 22 when I met him and could see in his eyes that this was a man that was going places.
Post # 16
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
@mightywombat: I didn’t see your comment before I posted. I think we’re talking about the same study!
