Post # 1
I have accepted the idea of my fiancé and I spending all this money on a wedding (took me awhile!) but I am still struggling with all the money that others may be spending. Wedding shower, bachelorette party, a couple of out of town guests, wedding presents.
Am I the only one?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
You’ve just got to let it go. If they don’t want to spend it, they won’t. All you can do is make sure that you are a gracious and accommodating host and that you don’t plan something that requires over-the-top spending on hotel rooms, etc.
Post # 4
I agree, you just have to let it go! I didn’t want a shower but my family and friends insisted, finally someone told me “they love you, let them do nice things for you!” and that’s what you’ve got to do! As for the bachelorette, I did ask them to keep it driving distance because I didn’t want people to have to spend money on airfare, that way everyone was able to attend without breaking the bank!
For me I just made sure to really keep the guests in mind when planning the wedding, I knew they were spending money on our wedding, so I wanted them to truly enjoy themselves.
Post # 5
It bugged me too. Actually it still bugs me. We could be shopping for a nicer condo right now if we hadn’t done that. Oh well.
We skipped most of the pre-wedding stuff, though. No engagement party, no shower.
Post # 6
By no means are you the only one. Just remember that most of those expenses for others are not necessary, except for maybe travel, and you can make it clear anyone planning parties and showers that you don’t expect them to go out of their financial comfort zone. And just appreciate what people do want to do for you, because all that stuff really is optional and because they love you!
Post # 7
Me too. I have to fight myself from chipping in for my bachelorette party because I feel guilty.
Post # 8
It bugs me too! The people closest to be are the ones spending all the money. I agree that we just have to let it go but it’s so hard. Luckily I was able to contribute to the bach party by using a ton of my hotel points to get plenty of rooms, but that’s IT. I feel terrible, but know that they wouldn’t spend it if they didn’t want to.
Post # 9
@Winterbride152: Yep, I had guilt too. Unemployed people having to pay for plane tickets, car rentals, hotels because we live so far from everyone. They felt obligated to go because we’re sisters – it was enough to cancel the whole thing. So much guilt. And that was just getting to the wedding – I didn’t have showers, parties or anything else. When asked where we registered, we said we did not register for gifts, your presense is our gift. That wedding (where the guests had to fly in) has been cancelled though. I sleep better now.