(Closed) Money On The Side…Ok or Not?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is Money On the Side A Good Idea? (Check all that apply)

    Money on the side is smart! (but Spouse MUST know about it, even if they don't know how much)

    Money on the side is smart! (Spouse should NOT know about it)

    I am married and I have money on the side. (Spouse knows)

    I am married and I have money on the side. (Spouse does NOT know)

    I am married and do not have money on the side but I think its a smart idea.

    Money on the side is selfish.

    Money on the side is unecessary.

    I am married and do not and will never have money on the side.

    I am not married yet but when I do, I'm having money on the side. (SO/FI knows this)

  • Post # 63
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    DH and I have our own accounts. We have a joint account into which we pay the same amount each month. That money goes to our joint savings and to pay household bills etc.

    Neither of us want to fully intergrate our money – mainly because it is our own money and we can do with it what we want. simples.

    Post # 64
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @FromA2B2013:  Oh, that makes a lot of sense, actually. I agree that spending frivolous $ should be within your means as an individual or couple and that it is much more important to save $ for big things, such as buying a house.

    Post # 65
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee

    As long as you’re not hiding money, I think it’s okay to have cash on the side.  As long as you’re open about it, I don’t see the harm.

    Post # 66
    Member
    2513 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I don’t understand the point of separate accounts except in the case a PP poster mentioned – one joint account for bills and individual accounts for fun stuff, assuming both people are cool with that and use the system to avoid fights about spending.

    In my case, SO and I are unmarried but have had joint checking/savings for 5+ years. Finances are a source of stress, but never a source of fights. We talk about all purchases and ask each other’s permission, even though that permission is usually just a formality. I am the primary money handler, and I make sure to give SO a breakdown of what we have and what is coming out every week.

    Post # 67
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee

    Long time lurker, first time poster…I felt this was an important topic to get started talking abou on here.   

    I believe that you SHOULD have an extra savings account that no one knows about, except you.  My grandma grew up during the Great Depression.  Her father left her family, and took all their money with him.  My grandma grew up penniless, and homeless,  because her mom had no money, and no way of supporting her family.  

    Because of this experience, when my grandma got married, she kept her own secret bank account and savings account.  She taught this to my mom and me, as well.  I think it is important to have “just enough” saved away.  If you never need to use it, that’s great, but in the unforseeable event that you do, it’s a really good thing to have.  

    My mom also put away 10-15 dollars every few weeks in a savings account for each of her kids, as a small “nest egg” when we were starting out.  I know I appreciated this when I was older and paying for grad school, so I plan to do the same thing for my own children when I have them. 

    Post # 68
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    View original reply
    @Everdeen:  +1.

    My parents have a joint account plus their own, separate accounts.  It’s no big deal, really. It’s not like they’re hiding the money from each other and skimping on paying bills and such.  If one earns it, they should at least keep a bit for themselves if they can afford it.  I don’t think that’s shady at all.  

     

    If your spouse is hiding anything from you, you have far, far bigger issues than bank accounts.  It’s like blaming Facebook if your spouse cheats.

    Post # 69
    Member
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    View original reply
    @amytheteacher:  Why is there a need to keep it secret?  I would be very upset if I found out DH was keeping an account secret from me, so I don’t do it to him.

    Post # 71
    Member
    2959 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    We have a joint account, but we also have our own. He doesn’t need to have a hand in my Forever 21 bill, and I don’t need to be buying his soccer shoes. Vacations, food, household bills…we pay those together and it works out.

    Post # 72
    Member
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Fiance and I both have separate saving and chequing accounts right now.  I do have one account he knows about but doesn’t know how much is in it.

    We just got engaged, but we do not live together yet, so we figure we do not need to combine any assets at the moment.  We agreed and have talked about this many times, when we move in together next summer, we will have one combined chequing account for bills, and separate savings accounts. We also do not bank with the same financial institution. 

    As long as we both contribute to bills, have some savings for our future, and he at least tells me when he makes a big purchase, I don’t need to have access to his money. 

    The topic ‘Money On The Side…Ok or Not?’ is closed to new replies.

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