(Closed) Money Shower????

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

No I wouldn’t go. Especially since you haven’t seen this girl in years. That’s ridiculous.

Post # 4
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would only go if it was someone I was close too….not because of the “money shower” but because of not being close to the girl.  

If I’m close to someone, I don’t care what kind of gift they are asking for.   Asking for cash IMO is no differernt than asking for a $50 coffee maker.    Some people just don’t need “stuff”.

I would also like to add….that asking for any kind of gift is rude, which is essentially what a shower is in the first place….(to shower the bride with gifts.)  So the whole concept of a shower could be considered kinda rude overall. 


Post # 5
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This girl would not be attending:

  • firstly because I haven’t seen the bride since elementary school


  • secondly because I am of the school that is it rude to ask for money
  • thirdly, because that shower would be so boring. I just don’t see anyone except the bride getting excited with the opening of cash, or cheques. Why  don’t they skip the shower and ask that you just do an electronic transfer into her account?


Post # 8
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@julies1949:  although i can see what u say about it being boring to open cards with money in it.  for my shower, we asked for one gift – a camera to take to our destination wedding. everyone understood because we are living far away from on internship and i was home for the holidays when i  had my shower, but i certainly couldnt lug back gifts with me.  also, we will be moving around again a couple of times in the next couple of years.  anyway, so i opened the camera at the shower, but essentially it was my mom and sister who wrapped it while everyone else put their contribution (money) in the cards. it was a bit weird/awkward to sit there opening cards and thats was it after the camera. no one was really paying attention. in hindsight, i probably should have just opened the camera and saved the cards for later.  well there were about 2 other gifts that people got me as well – photo album and frame to go with the camera.

Post # 9
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

FYI – people dont open gifts at a shower if it’s a monetary shower lol, that would just be awkward and weird.

I think this is becoming very common around here… I’m seeing that a lot on invitations lately.  It doesnt really bother me because I would spend the same amount of money anyway.

Personally I would not do it because I wouldn’t want to offend people, but at the same time, I HATE registries because you can always find sales or better deals on the exact same stuff when you shop around… what can you do though.

Post # 10
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@dynamic_duo: Call me old-fashioned, but where I live brides do not tell guests what gifts they want. Showers are given by friends, co-workers, the groom’s family, etc never the bride’s family.

Couples register for wedding gifts, not shower gifts. Showers are either general, or themed, like lingerie, wine, patio and bar- be que.

The fun of a shower is watching the bride open the gifts- NOT KNOWING what is inside the wrapping. Handing over an envelope of cash and watching others do the same , would definitely not be fun for me.


Post # 11
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

THIS IS SO RUDE! UGH… if I got a money only shower invite I would show up with a card only!!!

Post # 12
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@julies1949: isn’t registering for gifts telling people what you want?  and ya i know that showers are supposed to be given by the BMs. but my sister was my Maid/Matron of Honor, my other BMs helped plan and prepare it and my mom wanted to be involved too – why would anyone tell her she can’t!  plus most of the showers i have been to were hosted by the brides mother, so i saw nothing wrong with it.

Post # 13
2790 posts
Sugar bee

I will say that because you haven’t seen her since Elementary school I would not go. On the other hand I just went to a money shower but I have known this woman for many years. Now mind you there were extremely good reasons for this. My friend is moving from MN to CA because her husband (eloped alone) is stationed there. She was driving her car from MN and we obviously know it is expensive to ship and haul a lot of large gifts. I received a pretty informal facebook invitation because they married just 3 weeks ago and there was no time for formalities. It did suggest that gift cards to a large chain store would be helpful since she was trekking across country.

In this particular situation I was not offended in the least by the request for cash. Granted I assumed that was what is appropriate but I didn’t balk at seeing the request for gift cards. We mingled, had a Mexican fiesta themed dinner, we played 2 shower games (which is the perfect amount to me) and then she opened the 4 or 5 material gifts which were a few picture related items and a set of not to scandalous lingerie. She did not open the cards in front of us so her Husband and her could enjoy those together. I don’t know what your situation is but I thought that for the circumstances this was obvious and necessary in her case.

Post # 14
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@MsBrooklynA:  glad you wrote this. this is exactly the type of reason my Darling Husband and I could not register at a store as well!

Post # 15
32 posts
  • Wedding: June 2008

Someone mentioned that some people just don’t need stuff and that asking for money was no different than asking for a coffee maker.

If you have all the stuff you need, then I would assume you are not hurting for money and don’t need mine.

Post # 16
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I understand why someone would do it but I like buying and putting together a little gift and would kinda bummed that I didnt get to do that…

I would never do it because I dont think its appropriate but If you were a little short on money for the wedding it would be nice lol.. JK  (kinda)

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