Money split question.

posted 2 months ago in Finances
Post # 31
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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@beeee:  Then I’d say it should be the same with this. You work for it, just like a bonus, you get it. It matches what you’ve done previously. 

Post # 32
Member
526 posts
Busy bee

I think money should be all together, no splitting, no mine and yours. If getting hands on money is such a thing it’s kinda like maybe there’s too much spending going on. Extra money like that should be put into savings towards the couple’s future, not spent right away on stuff and split and all the rest. If he wouldn’t do it, then he wouldn’t do it, it just means he’s lucky you are doing it. I’ve gotten my husband and I savings from things or returns from things but I never felt the greed that it should be mine- everything is ours, no splitting. And also no imemdiate spending, as that is not a good habit. Extra money goes in savings, spending money is on conscious spending decided together.

Post # 33
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

I think you should do whatever your husband thinks is fair. It seems like y’all have a particular way of parsing funds and there’s no point changing that if it works for you. My husband and I don’t split money–we share everything. So our way of operating is totally different and right for us but everyone is different. 

Post # 34
Member
47 posts
Newbee

So…our finances are technically separate (though we do use a “shared” credit card that we both pay for, though not necessarily equally) and I think this sounds petty AF. I make literally 3x more then what my fiancé does and I would never do this. 

That said, if you have something in mind you want to spend the settlement money on, just do it. 

Post # 35
Member
13614 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The first question you might ask is whether you can really “afford” to spend these occasional windfalls rather than save or invest them, especially the past example you gave of unused student loan money that has to be paid back plus interest. If you have emergency funds, are on track with long and short term savings goals and have no debt that’s one thing. If not, those things would be my priority.

Post # 36
Member
3238 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I agree it’s a weird slippery slope. I could see this mindset turning into, “I spend more time mowing the lawn, so I get to choose all our lawn furniture” or “I do more of the dishes, so I can throw out your utensil that I don’t really like”, or even “I spend more time breastfeeding and holding the baby, so parenting decisions should be more in my court”. Just seems not in the spirit of marriage, which is picking up slack for the other person and working as a team. 

Post # 38
Member
13614 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@beeee: Thanks for the correction. The larger point stands, especially if the aid was need based. 

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