- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hello. I’m not sure what to do. My fiance’ wont’ really talk about money. We are getting married in 2 weeks. I am 52 and he is 49. He was married for over 20 years, has 4 kids and a horrible ex wife who barely ever worked. He went through the worst divorce I’ve ever heard of , and she took just about everything. All their money was joint and she had access to all of it. All his money – almost – is gone – to her. He is very sensitive about that ever happening again. But he loves me and trusts me. He’s wonderful and did not deserve what happened to him.
I was married years ago, very briefly and NEVER had joint money, as my ex husband ever wanted to combine any money and pay all house bills 50-50 even though he made more than I did.
I’ve been single for the past 20 years and self-sufficient, raised a child with no child support and own my own small home. I’ve always worked an average job, but a good job.
He just told me he wants to open a joint checking account just to “have something together” to “feel” like we have something together. But… he has no idea what to do with this account. I’ve asked. He does not know. I finally told him OK, what the heck – I’ll open it with you for $10. But Why? I think it’s just a symbol to him.
He currently pays me rent to live in my home and the one bill I assigned him to pay. I am responsible for the rest of the house and my son’s expenses.
I know we are getting married, but… I cannot imagine putting all money together then fighting over money when I want to buy new shoes, etc. I’ve been 100% independent my WHOLE life even that 1 year I was “married” …. sorta. Horrible marriage, By The Way. I tossed him out.
Because he pays a HUGE amount of alimony and child support, his take home pay is the same as mine. But he works loads of overtime (I barely see him) in order to bring home even that much. He’s not working extra for “us” , rather for the Ex wife. She won’t allow him to see his kids and has biased and brainwashed them against him by complete lies. The Courts do NOTHING. NOTHING. They believe her when she crys like a helpless victim. It’s all a show, a lie.
Since he won’t talk about a money PLAN – I guess we will just keep things exactly the way they are now, I am his Landlord and he is my tenant and I’m responsible for my house, and he pays me rent and we buy seperate food, but often eat each other’s food. Honestly, I buy way more food than he does.
So why does he want a joint checking account just for “show” if he can’t tell me what he plans on doing with it?
Any suggestions on mature people who are getting married and what to do with our paychecks? and Bills?