(Closed) Money Woes :(

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 32
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I do believe starting your marriage in debt is going to be too much to handle.  I think that you believe the “wedding” will make you feel better, but after the wedding, the problems will still be there. 

I took out money from my 401K AND took a personal loan to afford our wedding.  It really wasn’t worth it.  I would definitely have waited or kept it smaller.  I think that maybe you should postpone the wedding.  You and your boyfriend love each other.  You guys are in a mess right now.  The wedding won’t make it better.  Figure out the CC situation, student loan, and get yourself stable.  I know it hurts, but when you do finally have the money for it, look how much better it will FEEL! 

You will do what you want in the end, but you should take this stuff seriously.  Both my husband and I have full time jobs and thought that we would be able to handle all this.  But today I found out that my job isn’t going to be around much longer.  A little scary!  No savings because of the wedding.  And now we have to worry about all our normal debts, but now have the two loans. 

Post # 33
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

 <hugs> I’m sorry to hear about that, I know you’ve probably been advised to death so I’m sorry if I repeat things others have posted.

I in no way claim to be a financial advisor but here are two tips I’ve learned from experience:

  My Fiance works at a student loan company and I’m not sure how it is in Canada but here if you consolidate your loans they are basically owned by the government and you lose many rights to get forebearances on your payments. I would suggest looking into an Income Based Repayment plan (IBR) they calculate feasible payments based on your income. This is a good option until you get more financially stable. I would persuade against forebearances unless absolutely necessary because 1) you are only allowed a certain number of months for forbearance time and 2) the interest capitolizes. You could also look into interest only payments. 

 My ex-roomie had a Capitol One card that was crazy maxed out. They talked her into closing out the account but she signed something without negotiating a payment plan. They sent her a summons to appear in court if she didn’t pay the full amount. So definitely make sure you understand all of the details when dealing with that company! 

 Can you cut out all unneccessary things from your wedding (DJ, Alcohol (if included), switch out a cake for cupcakes, etc..)? We are having a $1500-$2000 wedding (we have a wee bit of wiggle room) and we can do this because we are basically doing everything ourselves. 

I agree with @labmouse: could you have a small ceremony now and later have a big reception later? I know it’s not ideal but it will feel better than going into more debt. Have you checked out the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey? It’s an excellent book and it may help change your Fiance ideas about second jobs and working on paying down debt. 

I hope I’ve not said anything to upset you, if I have a really apologize, I typically don’t chime into convos because I don’t want to upset anyone! 


Post # 34
3302 posts
Sugar bee

1) Figure out exactly what your income is.

2) Calculate what your fixed expenses  are (things that you can’t cut back, rent/mortgage, insurance, car payments, debt repayments)

3) Whatever is left over is all you have left for food, phone, cable. 

#3 may mean making very difficult choices, like living without a phone, or cable, or home internet.  It sucks.  No doubt.  But it’s better to make these sacrifices now, then to be in a worse situation in 2 years from now and being forced into bancruptcy by an unhappy creditor.

Post # 35
30 posts

In regards to the credit cards… please please please take this advice.  If you have more than one, I would definitely go with credit counseling.  Like a previous poster had said, be careful what you work out with the cc company by itself because sometimes, you don’t know what you are signing.  


There are two types of companies… There is debt management (credit counseling) or there is debt settlement (which you don’t want).  The counseling services negotiate lower payment plans with lower interest rates.  It will get you paid off with in 5 years of making the payments.  You can make larger payments on that plan and pay it off sooner.   The debt settlement companies are the ones that take your money and don’t pay on your cards and try to negotiate settlements (which kill your credit) for less than what you owe.  What people don’t realize is that you have to pay taxes on that part that was forgiven.  Also, these companies are making a crazy amount of money off of you.  


I used a credit counseling service – CCCS of Ohio.  It lifted a huge monkey off of my back when I signed up. Just please, if you are going to go that route, do your homework to make sure you are with a debt management company, which is all non-profit. 


Good luck!

Post # 36
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I couldn’t afford a wedding either so I didn’t have one. I was in very bad financial messiness. I wanted to go dress shopping so badly and have a wedding, but it wasn’t possible. Maybe it wasn’t fair, but reality often isn’t. JOP 35 bucks. Look into it.

Post # 37
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Go to credit counseling. I’m not sure how it works in Canada, but call your local government offices and see if the government offers free counseling.  I know most states in the US offer certified help free of charge.

And you really should rethink the wedding.  Just go sign the paperwork and get married. Have a vow renewal in five years, once you’re out of this financial bind.  If you can scrape together money, think how much more useful it would be going toward your high interest credit cards or your bills rather than what in reality is one day of your lives and a big expensive party.

Post # 38
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you are getting a lot of undeserved harsh advice. I’m in a very similar situation (credit card and medical debt) and these last 3 years of graduate school my Fiance and I have barely been making it. I finally broke down this year and got a 2nd job, which my Fiance wasn’t happy with, but we were never going to dig ourselves out of the hole with the income we had coming in. It’s really hard, not going to lie, I never have time for anything and my days are generally 14 hours. But, for the first time, I have a savings account with money going in it every month and a wedding account with money going in it every month. I feel like I’m actually going somewhere now and not struggling to pay all of my bills.

Also, look into donating plasma too-here, you make $50 a week for donating.

Post # 39
3 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in a similar situation. I just graduated from college, got a job, then was laid off from that job. My fiance has a medical condition that cause him to drop out of college and he is struggling to find work. We have been together since high school, almost 5 years. I would love to have a nice wedding with family and friends at a budget of $5000, but it seems impractical.

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