Post # 1
I recently designed a custom married couple’s monogram with mine and future husband’s initials. I designed it with the intention of using it for future thank you notes/envelopes. I’m working on making my own stationary and my fi liked the monogram design so much that he wants me to add it to our wedding invitations. I don’t know too much about all the unwritten rules/etiquette but is it appropriate to use a monogram if you’re not married yet? Would it be weird to add it to our invitations?
Post # 2
I wouldn’t think it was strange to add to wedding invitations. If you were using it on regular stationary prior to being married it would be a little weird though.
Post # 3
I think “technically” it’s bad luck to use a married monogram before you’re actually married. That said, we used our monogram on our progam/menu cards, but not on the invitations. Maybe tha’ts a compromise?
TBH, if I saw the monogram on your invitation, I might think it was weird, but there’s a better chance I wouldn’t even notice.
Post # 4
It’s not appropriate to use your married monogram before you are married.
Post # 5
our invitations, thank you cards, menus, pretty much everything used the logo we created of J&J, our first initials. the cocktail napkins, i ordered with our last name initial on it.
Post # 6
To be honest I wasn’t even aware that a married monogram was a thing that existed, so I wouldn’t blink twice at it on the invite. If you’re looking for the actual etiquette rules, I’d imagine technically you aren’t supposed to use it if you aren’t married. However, this is one of those etiquette rules that if you aren’t too concerned with all the proper etiquette, I don’t see it hurting anyone to just do it anyway.
Post # 7
you do you, but i think monograms just look weird on wedding invitations, period. I’d have no issue with you using it on stationary for thank you cards though even if they’re sent before the wedding. After all, the gift is a wedding gift, so it seems appropriate to use marriage stationary. But a monogram on a wedding invitation just looks odd to me
Post # 8
There….are…rules for this?? I wouldn’t think twice about seeing it on a wedding invite. Unless you’re inviting Emily Post, I doubt anyone will care and honestly,if they are uptight enough to care who wants them there anyway??
Post # 9
I didn’t know either until I started Googling design ideas. Then I started seeing all this etiquette crap. You are so right though, I don’t want judgy people there anyway lol.
Post # 10
Thank you all for the input. I decided I DGAF about any of these dumb wedding rules but I am also not using the monogram afterall. I made a draft of the invite with the monogram and it didn’t look nice.
Post # 12
The monogram “rule” isn’t etiquette at all. It’s simply a fact that using your married monogram before you’re married is incorrect. It’s not rude, just wrong. If you don’t care about being wrong and looking like you don’t know any better, then use the monogram — nobody’s going to care. Etiquette is about treating people right. That’s all. Nobody cares about your initials, so using an incorrect monogram isn’t an etiquette breach. Not having enough chairs, or putting “beach formal dress code” on invitations — these are etiquette breaches because this is not treating people right.
Post # 13
Sounds fine to me. I get that technically they’re not your initials yet, but nobody blinks an eye when someone sends out a graduation party invitation with a diploma graphic on it even though they technically don’t have a diploma yet. You’re inviting people to the event where those will BECOME your initials.
Post # 14
I literally wouldn’t even notice, and even if I did…. I wouldn’t care.
Post # 15
LOL at the people who think this is wrong or inappropriate.