Monogram Rules

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Should I use a couple’s monogram on invitations?

    No, that is only appropriate for married couples.

    Who cares, do whatever you want.

    What’s a monogram?

  • Post # 2
    4501 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I wouldn’t think it was strange to add to wedding invitations. If you were using it on regular stationary prior to being married it would be a little weird though. 

    Post # 3
    13902 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think “technically” it’s bad luck to use a married monogram before you’re actually married.  That said, we used our monogram on our progam/menu cards, but not on the invitations.  Maybe tha’ts a compromise?

    TBH, if I saw the monogram on your invitation, I might think it was weird, but there’s a better chance I wouldn’t even notice.

    Post # 4
    13655 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    It’s not appropriate to use your married monogram before you are married. 

    Post # 5
    9538 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    our invitations, thank you cards, menus, pretty much everything used the logo we created of J&J, our first initials.  the cocktail napkins, i ordered with our last name initial on it.

    Post # 6
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    To be honest I wasn’t even aware that a married monogram was a thing that existed, so I wouldn’t blink twice at it on the invite. If you’re looking for the actual etiquette rules, I’d imagine technically you aren’t supposed to use it if you aren’t married. However, this is one of those etiquette rules that if you aren’t too concerned with all the proper etiquette, I don’t see it hurting anyone to just do it anyway.

    Post # 7
    3356 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    View original reply
    asical2018 :  you do you, but i think monograms just look weird on wedding invitations, period. I’d have no issue with you using it on stationary for thank you cards though even if they’re sent before the wedding. After all, the gift is a wedding gift, so it seems appropriate to use marriage stationary. But a monogram on a wedding invitation just looks odd to me  

    Post # 8
    431 posts
    Helper bee

    There….are…rules for this?? I wouldn’t think twice about seeing it on a wedding invite. Unless you’re inviting Emily Post, I doubt anyone will care and honestly,if they are uptight enough to care who wants them there anyway??

    Post # 12
    9129 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    asical2018 :  The monogram “rule” isn’t etiquette at all. It’s simply a fact that using your married monogram before you’re married is incorrect. It’s not rude, just wrong. If you don’t care about being wrong and looking like you don’t know any better, then use the monogram — nobody’s going to care. Etiquette is about treating people right. That’s all. Nobody cares about your initials, so using an incorrect monogram isn’t an etiquette breach. Not having enough chairs, or putting “beach formal dress code” on invitations — these are etiquette breaches because this is not treating people right.

    Post # 13
    1260 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Sounds fine to me. I get that technically they’re not your initials yet, but nobody blinks an eye when someone sends out a graduation party invitation with a diploma graphic on it even though they technically don’t have a diploma yet. You’re inviting people to the event where those will BECOME your initials. 

    Post # 14
    9076 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I literally wouldn’t even notice, and even if I did…. I wouldn’t care.

    Post # 15
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee

    LOL at the people who think this is wrong or inappropriate.

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