- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2017
Just want to see if I am totally crazy here and get some feeback on how to handle this situation.
Background: My Future Mother-In-Law was never fond of me. No good reason that we can figure out except that I am Catholic and she and my Fiance is baptist. I’m cool with that and can totally respect their religion. Fiance attends my church with me very willingly and he wanted to be married at my church. However, she has let me and my family know that we are inferior to her due to a slight difference in religion. (Her literal words “Yes, Catholics are inferior because they are not saved and will not go to heaven and I do not want my son held back by that”) Whatever, I take it with a grain of salt. Can’t please everyone. However, my mom tried to have a relationship with her in an attempt to find understanding and common ground. When they met, Future Mother-In-Law told my mom that I was too close to my mom, that my Fiance and I will end in divorce and she needed to break us up now, and Future Mother-In-Law said she wished he was going to marry someone else from her church who she deemed more qualified. Yes, I was frustrated. However, I never said anything to her because I know my Fiance and his moms opinion means nothing to him (HORRIBLE RELATIONSHIP since childhood since she divorced FI’s dad in a really brutal manner and dad later committed suicide because of it). Still we try to make things better and work for both families and try to include her. But we don’t have a true relationship with her (She has an EXTREMELY negative and toxic attitude)
Now onto the wedding planning. At first she was mad that we did not involve her in picking a venue (MY family is paying for the wedding and reception). So we take her to the place we picked and showed her around. She did not say a word! Not a “this is beautiful” or “I am so happy for you.” She was totally cold. We took her to dinner right after to discuss the rehersal dinner which SHE decided she would like to plan. I’m cool with that and happy that she wanted to put forth some effort and be a part of our marriage. She gave us a few options of places and we picked one. She said she would book it the next day and I gave her an estimated number of people. A week later, she called Fiance up and says that it is too much work for her and she’s not helping do any of it and we could pay for it ourselves. FI’s brother is getting married this year as well, and Future Mother-In-Law is all over planning the rehersal for them and LOVES and gushes on social media over his Fiance. I’m really not bitter about not having a relationship with her. It’s her ignoring and treating her son with disrespect.
We just sent out Save the Dates and she is screaming bloody murder because we are over our maximum and were not able to invite all of her friends (who we do not know!) One of the friends we decided not to invite was the family of the daughter she wants my Fiance to marry instead. Slightly awkward for me knowing they would be there and she would be wishing it was their daughter instead. Well she is now saying how disrespectful we are to her and that if they do not get an invite by the end of the week that she will know that we do not want her (FMIL) to come.
What can I say to her that gets my frustration out and clears the air?
Anyone else have a Future Mother-In-Law from hell?