- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
What do you do when the monster-in-law is your own mother?
Backstory: I was raised Catholic. Met my FH and we were together for 3 years when we had a surprise pregnancy. My FH is protestant and is ignorant about the Catholic faith. It tends to be a big problem in the south. I use the term ignorant not as an insult, he just knows nothing about Catholisism and doesn’t want to. We made the decision that we should find our own church so that we could attend as a family and not rotate Sunday’s between churches. I converted to protestantism (?) and became a baptist. My mother seems to have been thinking that our daughter would still be raised Catholic, that I would be married by a priest….
So let’s fast forward to yesterday. I call my mom everyday, as they have recently moved a state away. When my parents moved they seem to think that I would eventually follow. We get into the discussion (again) about me moving closer to them. I (Again) explain that I am not going to up root my daughter and my FH to live in a state I don’t like, I was raised there for a few years and was SOOOOOO glad to come back to my current state. We’ll that esculates quickly into how I am planning the wedding wrong. My FH wants to get married in his family’s church but with our preacher. I am not comfortable in his family’s church, they worship differently than I do and it just makes me uncomfortable. But we won’t be having a sermon at our wedding and it is the only thing he has asked for so I agreed. To me it’s just a building, it doesn’t matter where I get married as long as I am marrying him. My mother tells me I’m a hypocrite and that I am letting FH rule my life and make all the decisions… She then goes on the insinuate that I am a bad daughter because I have not continued in my Catholic faith but she’s glad that I compromised with my FH and became a Baptist…. Really? Anyone else confused with that?
I told her to back off, that this was not her wedding. Any decisions to be made would be made by myself and FH. FH is upset because when he comes home I am in tears I am so upset and broken out into hives (That’s just what happens when I am stressed out).
I am just uncertain how to handle this. I never thought my mother would be the monster in law. Thanks for reading and I really appreciate advice on how to deal with her diplomatically.