(Closed) Mooching Brother (Groomsman?)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think that you should let your Fiance choose his own groomsmen. Regardless of the money Jim owes you, he’s your FI’s brother. If your Fiance chooses to let it go, it’s his decision.

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

I would also suggest staying out of most arrangements (especially past ones) between your fiance and his family.  Let your fiance deal with it, if he so desires.

If he chooses not to ask for the money back, then you know in the future to not loan it. In the future when its both of your money it can be a decision you make together.

As an FYI- I am a HUGE advocate that you lend friends and family money only if you can afford to not get it back. You never lend these people, you give. IF you get it back, then that is a bonus. Money drives wedges into even the best relationships.

Moral of the story? This particular money issue, is not your issue to deal with.

If I were your Future Mother-In-Law I would be annoyed too that the fiance, someone who is not a member of the family yet, is addressing me about my two sons and their problems.

EDIT: I do understand that this is frustrating and you need the money for the wedding and you dislike that the brother isnt acting like a good brother, but this really is not your place at this time. I would be annoyed to if I was you.

Post # 5
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Honey I have a mooch brother too. I have probably given him thousands of dollars over the past 5 years and shared my home more times than I can count. Finally I realized I was merely enabling him to continue as an unemployed alcoholic and said enough is enough! He is now taking turns mooching off of his KIDS.

However, blood is blood and he will be escorting me for the wedding as my father passed away 15 years ago. Weddings are family affairs.

Post # 6
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This sucks, but I don’t think there is much you can do about it. I would just let it go. After the wedding, I would just let your Fiance know that no more money should be lent. As his wife, your financial responisbilities will be shared, and both of you need to agree about money spent. I am sorry that this is putting financial stress on you. I hope it all works out for you.

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